Friday, April 29, 2016

I Don't Think You Said What You Think You Said

I must be getting old and cranky. Either that or the bar for acceptable use of the English language has fallen to a remarkably low level, because everywhere I turn lately, glaring grammatical errors seem to be slapping me in the face.


Don't get me wrong, I'm not some sort of a grammar Nazi or something. I make plenty of mistakes myself - there are probably some in this very post. And I certainly don't think that people should be held to some level of perfection, especially in their day to day communications on social media or whatnot.

But lately I keep running into grammar fails that fundamentally alter the meaning of what is being said -- or should that be "which fundamentally alter the meaning of what is being said?" See what I mean about perfection?

At any rate, the misplaced modifier seems to be a biggie. Here's a headline I stumbled upon today:
Man Shot with Fake Bomb at Baltimore TV Station
Hmm... that's interesting. How exactly does one use a fake bomb to shoot someone? I assume what they meant to say was "Man with Fake Bomb Shot at Baltimore TV Station" but that isn't actually what they did say.

Then there's a commercial for a local furniture store, where some young woman proudly talks about her job as a buyer, and how gratifying it is to help people find products "in which they can find value in." Seriously? They paid to put that on the air? Perhaps it was approved by the department of redundancy department.

Then there are the missing or misplaced commas, periods, or other bits or punctuation.

Watch out for those slippery pedestrians!

Gosh, pedestrians really seem to be getting the brunt of the missing punctuation fails!

I've never actually met a disabled elderly pregnant child, but if I do, at least there's a toilet they can use.


I'm not quite sure how to categorize the next few, but I'm pretty sure the authors didn't exactly convey what they intended to.

How long do you suppose it takes to consume an entire African?


My father always said that religion would kill you , but I didn't think they were so up front about it!

And, lest we forget, there are the hilarious spelling mistakes.

Apparently that's how the store makes its money back?

Where bored executives go?

This is a tough call, but since I'm not quite sure what 'libety" is, I'm gonna go with tranny on this one.

They must be quite pleased with their exams

OMG... just O.M.G.

I hope it didn't hurt too much...

You are correct, it's not spelled "socilism"

Well, at least people won't be touching them!

I suppose I could go into some long rant about education, or the evolution of language usage or some other worldly topic, but it's late and I'm tired, so I think I'll just leave it at this:


So tell me, what grammar fails have you encountered recently? And am I the only person who yells at the television when someone says they've "grown wary" of something?



43 comments :

  1. It's always fun to look at examples like these. But on some of them, I couldn't find the mistake. My brain corrected it for me.

    I used to be top notch with grammar and spelling, but not any more. Changes in rules and general usage have my mind confused most of the time. Many of the examples you give could be fixed with a well placed comma as was written about in "Eat, Shoots & Leaves." However, many have taken away commas that I used to use to clarify meaning (they're teaching the new way in schools). I know much of what I write is full of mistakes to one person or another, but I've come to accept that's just the way it is. Although, there is one thing that grates on my nerves every time--the mixing up of less and fewer.

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    1. My grammar is also much worse than it used to be. For me, I think the speed with which writing occurs is the biggest culprit - it's like my fingers type faster than my mind can proofread or something like that. Plus, relying on the spell check can be deadly. If I don't see that little red underline it's so easy to assume that all is well, when oft times it's not!

      So less vs. fewer - this isn't one that has permeated my consciousness. I'm guessing that "less" is an adjective and "fewer" is a noun? Actually it's not really an adjective is it? What is that part of speech called? Well anyway, I'm gonna go read up on that one now...

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    2. Nope, both are adjectives. "Less" is for things that are not countable (like water) and "fewer" is for things that are (like flowers). I think no one says "fewer water(s)," but they will say "less flowers."

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    3. Hmmm... so is "few" a noun but "fewer" is an adjective? One of the things I read said that "less" is actually a "determiner" - which doesn't actually help me since I have no clue what a determiner is. Although, I do recall reading an entire chapter about determiners out loud in 7th grade English class - except that I didn't know how to pronounce it and kept saying "deeter-miner". I read an entire chapter and nobody corrected me. Perhaps I'll go try to determine exactly what a determiner is now...

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    4. Okay, "determiner" sounds vaguely familiar, like an adjective referring to quantity? So I looked it up. One source I found said that determiners are not adjectives; they must think there are more than seven parts of speech, just like nowadays there are more than four food groups.

      Anyway, normal adjectives are things that you can add -er and -est to (or say more and most about), but determiners are not.

      Determiners include:
      * articles (a, the)
      * demonstratives (this, that, these, those)
      * quantifiers (all, few, many, and probably less)
      * possessives (your, my, its)
      and more.

      "The function of a determiner is to express proximity, relationship, quantity, and definiteness."

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    5. In case things with links get labeled as spam, I'm telling you my source for the above separately: < http://grammar.yourdictionary.com/parts-of-speech/nouns/what/what-is-a-determiner.html >

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    6. Holy Kazoli! Well, if the experts can't all agree I think perhaps I won't worry about it too much! :-) But I like your -er, -est thing... that's a helpful way to look at it. I always just go with the "can this word be used to modify a ____ (fill in blank with any noun - for me, that's usually a cat)" method!

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    7. I am laughing. "...usually a cat." Awesome!

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  2. My biggest grammatical peeve? When someone writes 'draw' instead of 'drawer'. I work with a woman who does this all the time. "I looked in the draw, but couldn't find it" I actually wrote back once and said "maybe you should look in the drawer". grrr...

    Worse than that though is when people say 'fustrated' instead of 'frustrated'. There's an 'r' there people! Just like in February, you need to pronounce the R. (that was heard recently on the news - I was appalled! really, fustrated? Augh)

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    1. OK, draw vs drawer - that's a new one. I've never heard anyone do that, and can't figure out why anyone would. I've also never heard "fustrated" except maybe a small child who couldn't pronounce it correctly. I wonder if it's a regional thing...

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    3. We do drop our "R's" (if you heard me say that out loud, it would sound like: "we do drop ah ahhs") but that's only at the end of a word. I hope 'fustrated' is not a regional thing or New Englanders would have a bad reputation as 'ungrammarly'. (Probably not a word, but I'm from new England, so it's okay!). :)

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    4. Ha! I went to school in upstate NY, and one of my professors was from Boston. In his first lecture he introduced himself, said he was from Boston, and then held up a picture of a horse and of a car. He said, "First thing's first" Then pointing at the horse "this is a hause" then pointing at the car "this is a cauh". The whole room burst out laughing except for me... I was totally bewildered! Being from Colorado I didn't even know there was such a thing as a New England accent!

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  3. OMG...Does anyone proofread anymore?? Apparently not.
    I tend to worry about the downward spiral of both verbal and written language. Perhaps, I need to seek out that church so they can kill me before my worries do.

    While I find the handwritten signs inexcusably stupid, I have less tolerance for things like newspaper headlines or signs produced by sign companies. Don't they have editors and copywriters that get actual paychecks to correct the mistakes.

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    1. Oh my... I totally agree about the newspapers and the like. I mean, if you're just an average Joe, I suppose you can't be expected to have decent grammar (although the irony in some of those signs is utterly face-palm worthy). But if language is your profession, like you're a journalist or something... it just makes me cringe. I suppose I should be more forgiving of the folks on the live news broadcasts, but honestly, this stuff seems to be a daily occurrence these days. Sigh.

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  4. Your examples are comical. I needed a laugh this morning.

    Our middle school has a "recovery room" for kids who are having behavioral problems. Last fall, during my son's 7th grade orientation (do I get grammar points knocked off for using "7th" instead of "seventh"?), we noticed the sign posted on the door said "rocovery room". We have had a lot of fun asking my son if his behavior has resulted in a trip to the rocovery room. (The sign has since been corrected).

    Education standards seem to vary by state. My kid's teachers (elementary and middle school) have told me that grammar is no longer part of the curriculum (???!!) and that they have to squeeze in lessons on grammar with other assignments. They use Chrome books for many assignments, which have both spell check and grammar check. My daughter loves language and uses these tools to gain better language skills, but it's the easy way out for many (I volunteer regularly at school, helping struggling students, and have seen this first-hand). I am disturbed by this trend. I think I will purchase a grammar workbook and review some basic skills with my kids this summer. Learning a foreign language will be difficult if they don't understand parts of speech.

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    1. My kids were in school a few years ago and the teachers had to "sneak" grammar into the lessons. That started when they were in elementary school. I also remember that they had to "sneak" in learning the states and their capitals. OH,my. Don't get me started.

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    2. What?!? Grammar isn't even taught anymore? Well, that explains a few things doesn't it. I dunno, on the one hand, I'm not entirely sure that I see the value in spending hours diagramming sentences like we had to do, but when this stuff starts to impinge on our ability to actually communicate, it concerns me.

      In most cases you can figure out what the person intended to say, but having to make assumptions about what was intended, rather than actually getting a clear, declarative sentence bothers me on some fundamental level. I mean, where does it end? In a few decades will we all just be grunting and having to guess at the meaning?

      The thing is, it seems to be an across the board degeneration. My brother, who has a PhD, and scored something like 740 on the verbal SATs back when the maximum possible score was 800, and who spent most of our childhoods "rubbing it in" about how brilliant he was, has been sending out correspondence regarding my mother's estate for the past few years. He ends every letter by saying that he will "keep my appraised" of the situation. Gotta admit I experience a tiny bit of schadenfreude with that one! :-)

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    3. Ha, I think diagramming sentences might be the reason I finally figured out the difference between adjectives and adverbs. Before, I would tell myself that adVERbs were words like VERy, which, except for the actual word "very" was not very helpful!

      But, a lot of school work is about memorizing names for stuff (like "participle") without going into how to maximize how clear something is. I always thought it would be good to show lists of things like this and ask for ways to make them more clear. And to have a teacher writing something in front of everyone, showing all the editing that happens.

      In other news, I've heard that handwriting isn't taught either.

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    4. I think it was during the Trevon Martin thing when one of the witnesses was asked to read something and replied "sorry, I don't read cursive." It's shocking to me.

      I agree that things are taught poorly - there are many things about grammar that I never fully understood before studying Spanish because you take so much of your native language for granted.

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    5. I continually type "my" when I mean "me". That's just what my fingers do. Could that be what your brother's doing?

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    6. Handwriting is still taught in our school district, but I know that many schools have done away with it.

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    7. June, you are so much nicer than I am. It's completely possible that he's simply making the same typo over and over, but somehow I prefer to think that my hyper-perfect brother might not be so perfect after all! :-)

      And Kris, I'm relieved to know that at least some places are still teaching it. I can't imagine a world where people couldn't read cursive... it just makes my brain hurt.

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  5. Those are too funny, Cat! Made my eyes tear up!
    I guess I'm just not bothered too much by these errors. I look at them as my free humor, for the day!

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    1. That's a good point. Perhaps I'm taking it all a tad bit too seriously! :-)

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  6. The small local independent grocery store near me had "prok" for sale yesterday . . . .

    Just keep in mind what Thomas Jefferson (may have) said, "I have nothing but contempt for a man who can only spell a word one way." It may be a false attribution but it is still amusing.

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    1. Ha! Well, as a person who is lost without spell check, I do like that quote!

      For some reason Blogger always thinks you are spam - I did at least find this comment in the spam folder before too much time had passed this time, but I totally don't know what's up with that. Sigh.

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  7. On the day before my mother passed away -- she had broken her hip, was suffering from late-stage Alzheimer's, lost her glasses so she couldn't see anything but a blur, and wasn't able to wear her hearing aids anymore -- she was walking around in her hospital room. Because of her broken hip, she was supposed to stay in bed. The nurse came up to her and said, "Carol, don't you want to lay down?" And my mom turned to the nurse and said, "No, I think you mean *lie* down!"

    So I come by my own grammar intensity honestly. I love this post.

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    1. OMG, that's hilarious! On my best day I couldn't tell you when to use lay vs. lie!

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    2. I have struggled with that one, too. Someone told me once "hens lay, people lie" and that helped, but I still have to think about it.

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    3. Interesting... I know I've looked that one up several times, but it never seems to stick, perhaps the hens thing will help!

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  8. Oh my gosh, "Thank you for severing our country." A sarcastic comment I could truly mean sometimes.

    Yep, it bugs me that apparently when you make signs in all caps, it is accepted use to use line breaks instead of punctuation marks.

    My biggest pet peeve is the irony ones. Those people who think everyone around them should speak English and they can't even do it right themselves. An education director I had to work under (who got hired over me because of her "business" experience) who had so many problems in one of her memos that I had to anonymously correct them all (something like 15 errors in a one-page memo) and slip it back on to her desk.

    Oh, and when someone gets paid to create a commercial thing, but it's all wrong.

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    1. I share your pet peeve. I mean, if you're gonna criticize someone else for being "ignorant" the least you can do is refrain from graphic displays of your own ignorance in the process!

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  9. lol! What I see are plenty of spelling errors. Texting language doesn't help, and cursive is disappearing.

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    1. Oh texting... don't even get me started on that one. But I suppose if I can pull myself out of my "goddam kids on their phones gonna get somebody killed" funk, the whole smartphone phenomenon - and the way it has transformed our interpersonal communications - does have very interesting implications for the trajectory of our written language. I mean nowadays, creating a video is something that even a toddler can accomplish, and texting language is basically a phonetic representation of spoken language. Perhaps our society is nearing the point where written language will become obsolete? That's sort of a terrifying thought, but it's interesting to ponder nonetheless...

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  10. Love this post! As a former sub-editor I cringe at some of the things I read. One of my friends was trying to calm me down on Facebook and said: "There, their, they're. Don't be upset."

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  11. This is Around My Kitchen Table again. I meant to say that I have another blog called That's Purrfect which, not surprisingly, is cat-related.

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    1. Oooo... thanks for letting me know! If Smoky ever decides to let me look at my computer screen I'll go check it out. At least he hasn't started typing yet...

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  12. This was fantastic gave me my laugh for the day. It's good to learn I'm not alone when it comes to this. Text messaging has destroyed proper spelling I can't stand to read UR for You're. What drives me batty are the use of it's for its, their for they're and so on.

    Maybe I am a product of diagramming that stuck too well but the flashy headlines that make no sense grammatically make me want to shake the journalists.

    On a more upbeat note the best one of your selection has to be the Prostituting shoplifters. :-)

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    1. Yup... when the journalists do it, I just go a little bit crazy. Makes me want to revoke their degrees or something!

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    2. I had a teacher that wrote a comment on my son's sixth grade paper pointing out a misspelling. Thing was she misspelled a word in her comment to me. I wrote a not so nice comment back to her correcting her note. :-) I don't remember what it was now but it irked me to have a teacher not know how to spell but point out one word in a multiple page report by my son.

      My son is bugged by people who can't spell as well and recently sent me a meme someone made up that read "It's National Athlete Day Repost if your a athlete" I couldn't figure out how to put the image here. You would think if one goes to the trouble to create a meme they would check the spelling and grammar.

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    3. Ha! Teachers in glass houses...

      You know, I think spellcheckers may have made the problem worse, at least for me. It's sooo easy to just assume it's all right if you don't see the little red line telling you something's wrong. and spell checkers aren't gonna check things like there and they're. Of course, that does assume that people know the difference in the first place and are just making typos - I may be being too generous there!

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