You know, this process has been very enlightening, and it sort of points out to me why most organizing and decluttering programs have never really been very helpful to me. I have weird clutter issues.
When you watch an organizing program on TV, or read a book or blog about clutter, generally they address issues with clothes, or shoes, or books, or sentimental items. And while I do have more of those types of things than I really need, that sort of stuff is actually pretty easy for me to part with.
The area that really gives me trouble is... Garbage!
Actually, I think it would be more accurate to say that I have trouble assigning something to the category of garbage. It's just soooo hard for me to accept being a party to the horrible wastefulness of this culture.
This is not a new issue for me, in fact, I've written about it before - back in the dark ages of this blog. And I really thought I'd kicked the habit, but the facts would tend to say otherwise. I guess the carpet beetles were sent from on high to show me the error of my ways.
Soooo, since I really don't want to end up back here AGAIN, I'm creating some new rules for myself that will hopefully help me to keep my garbage "habit" in check.
Rule #1 - The Rag Bag is no more.
As I've written about before, I tend to wear my clothes until they quite literally fall apart.
And when something reaches the point where it can no longer be patched or repaired, I throw it into the "rag bag" to continue its useful life an another way.
Thing is, in this purge I have uncovered about a dozen bags full of dead clothing - and I haven't yet opened "the trunk" which I know is a repository of more - or the closet under the stairs, which makes me shudder to think about. And while I do use rags for cleaning and bicycle maintenance, and occasionally to make a patch for something else, I think it could very well take a lifetime to use up the amount of dead clothing that I currently posses. Not to mention the fact that much of it is infested with carpet beetle larvae.
Soooo, most of what I had has been tossed, and the old clothing that I am saving for rags has been cut up into rag sized pieces, and is being bleached as we speak. It will then live in a dedicated plastic bin, and I will keep no more than will fit in that bin!
So the new rule is, if I want to keep something to use as a rag, I have to actually make it into a rag - in other words, cut it up into rag sized pieces and store it in said singular rag bin.
Rule #2 - No More Cardboard Boxes!!!
Folks, I don't know if the DSM includes box-o-felia in its official list of diagnosable psychiatric disorders, but I think it's safe to say that even if it isn't an actual thing, I've got it!
I don't know what it is exactly, and I've tried setting limits with my cardboard box "habit," but as evidenced by the dozens upon dozens of the things that I have dragged out of this house in the past few weeks, my efforts at moderation have clearly failed. So I'm goin' cold turkey.
So the new rule is, nothing shall be stored in a cardboard box, and any boxes that come into this house, shall be immediately broken down, cut up and set out for recycling.
Rule #3 - Fix it or Toss it!
My basement is filled with broken stuff that could be fixed someday. I've got dead telephones, dead electronics, dead lamps, dead bike parts, and a whole host of other dead things languishing in the land of good intentions. I just HATE the disposable nature of goods these days, and it kills me to throw something away that could be used somehow.
But honestly, most of the stuff I've got is just garbage.
So the new rule is, if something breaks, there are three options. I can fix it now, I can give it away on Freecycle to someone else who might want to try to fix it, or I can toss it. No more keeping things for the mythical time when I'll feel like tackling the job.
Anyhow, those are the new rules. I guess time will tell how they work. As we all know, I'm not great at following rules...
But maybe this time since these are my rules, not someone else's rules... well, we'll just have to wait and see how it goes.
So tell me, am I the only crazy person out there who has trouble throwing things away? I'd love to hear your thoughts on the subject.
I think you've just clarified my own clutter problem very neatly. I'm going to go toss a bunch of junk, now.
ReplyDeleteMy advice is toss it NOW, before the beetles move in!
DeleteI agree. I think those darn carpet beetles were a message from above. And I think you're doing a great job of hearing what they are saying. Now I can only hope that the rest of us can learn from your experience and not have to have a similar message from above delivered to us.
ReplyDeleteI believe this is karma at work. And I do truly hope that someone out there can learn from my mistakes. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy!
DeleteI share your problem and my husband is even
ReplyDeleteworse. Our technique is to move those "can't
bear to throw out" things to the garage (most
recent movers: dead food processer, dead
stereo, dead blender). You can imagine what
it looks like in there!
Ha! You should see my garage! CatMan keeps telling me that perhaps I should just leave it open for a few weeks and hope that people come steal things. But most of it is stuff that I "salvaged" from the alley anyhow. Oy! I have been slowly tossing/donating things though... but it is a sloooow process. Sigh.
DeleteWhat Barbara said. Hooray for detached garages!
ReplyDeleteI maintain a pretty healthy "anti-shopping list" to help me get rid of those garage-sorted-piles. I have a spot in my planning notebook where I list the location and hours of a local thrift store that recycles rags, the name of a guy who recycles scrap metal, the address and hours of the far-ish Habitat ReStore, etc. It's a pain, but at least I feel better about how my refuse leaves my home.
I read an article once by the author of the Story of Stuff (http://storyofstuff.org/) who lamented that modern stores make it really easy to bring things into our homes, but hard to get rid of them. It's easy to blame ourselves for being clutter-hogs, but part of the problem really is the way we structure disposal. It's too danged easy to throw things in the trash, and too danged hard to recycle things properly or to buy biodegradable stuff in the first place. So conscientious people (who don't want to resort to the easy-but-irresponsible trash cans) end up hoarding.
Oh, you are soooo good! I have such good intentions, but alas - most of the piles that I've been saving up to drive over to xyz place that will take xyz thing are now infested with carpet beetles. Honestly, it killed me to throw several garbage bags full of packing peanuts into the trash, but I just couldn't see moving heaven and earth to try to find a way to de-beetle them so they could be donated.
DeleteI totally agree that society makes it sooo hard to do the "right" thing. And while I try very hard to be a responsible greenie and keep as much stuff as possible out of landfills, sometimes it just feels like I'm swimming upstream.
And don't EVEN get me started about how easy it is to trash things. Denver started a city compost program a few years back, but get this - while garbage collection is "free" (included in property taxes) you have to pay extra to participate in the compost program. So essentially you can toss your organic waste in the trash for free, but if you want to be responsible about it... that'll cost you! It just kills me.
Thankfully there are a lot of alley pickers who frequent the neighborhood. Anything made from metal won't last more than a day or two out there before it gets taken by the salvage guy.
Terrible policies. There are many things that annoy me about my city, but at least here recycling is free and garbage costs. Also, you can choose different sized trash cans that have a different monthly charge.
DeleteI'm sure this tempts people to throw trash in the recycling can, but the program continues, so I hope that means it's not too bad.
I'm not sure why Denver is so resistant to enacting better garbage policies - I think some of it has to do with worker contracts etc. I've written numerous letters to the editor and contacted the city council over and over, but the answer is always that it's too expensive to change the system. Grrrr....
DeleteI have no problem with deciding to get rid of things, but then they sit in the spare room for AGES until I get round to getting rid of them. I can't just throw things in the bin, so it has to either be taken to a charity shop to be reused or to the tip to be recycled if it's not useable,
ReplyDeleteNeither of these things are really that much effort, but I don't generally muster up the effort until I need the spare room for something!
PS I think your rules are excellent- I have found that giving myself a limited amount of space to keep things in (like your rag box) helps keep collections of things under control...in my case knitting yarn and fleece to spin with!
DeleteYou know, it was remarkably easy to fill up that rag box! Now I've moved on to the fabric, which is a whole other level of disaster - fallout from my failed foray into the world of rag rug making. Sigh.
DeleteI really wish I had gotten rid of this stuff earlier. It would have been so much easier if I could have just donated it all without having to worry about infesting anyone else. Of course, since the beetle situation has been brewing for years, I might have infested others unknowingly if I had gotten my act together sooner. Perhaps it's all a blessing in disguise.
True, at least you have a good reason to throw it all out now rather than agonising over where it ends up. If someone else gets an infestation, it would just mean even more going to landfill in the end!
DeleteI would have thought the fabric could be donated if it was washed first (probably on a hot wash!) if you feel like taking on that additional challenge ;)
Oh yes, the fabric has all been washed and will be given away one way or another - well the pieces that were big enough. I tried washing some of the tiny stuff like for the quilt that I was gonna get around to some day - but it just fell apart. I am making progress though!
DeleteYou asked: "am I the only crazy person out there who has trouble throwing things away?". Absolutely not. Your rules will apply to my home also. Sadly, I can identify closely with your difficulties. I wish we lived closer that we could be friends helping each other. Glad CatMan is supportive! Your readers understand & are cheering you on also!
ReplyDeleteThanks Jan, it's nice to know I'm not the only person struggling to deal with the disposable culture in which we live!
DeleteWell, since this was the week we moved my mom ... I can definitively answer, no, you are not alone! Maybe it will help you to remember that even ancient societies had waste--just not at our colossal levels!
ReplyDeleteI got over storing cardboard boxes after living through a cockroach infestation in my college apartments--cockroaches like paper products. I keep a few around for wrapping gifts, and that's it. See what bugs teach us? ;)
Our Goodwill Services wants broken appliances--they use them to teach repair skills to their clients. That makes me feel better about donating them--I don't want to be a delay-trasher (my made-up term for donating what should be trash to a donation center instead of dealing with it in the first place).
Now if someone could just help me with the piles of stuff my husband and kids collect .... sigh.
That's interesting that your Goodwill will take broken appliances for training. The shops near us that I take stuff to, won't take anything broken. Years ago, I volunteered at a thrift store and they fixed most things. That doesn't happen so much any more, or at least not around here. Maybe they just have more than they can handle.
DeleteCockroaches eat cardboard?!? Yikes, there's another good reason to get rid of the stuff! And that's good to know about Goodwill taking broken appliances - I'll have to check into that.
DeleteYou know, I keep thinking about a friend of mine who was in town recently to help move her mom to a nursing home. We got together for dinner, and when I walked in there was a pile of boxes floor to ceiling as big as my entire bedroom. I said something on the order of "Wow, you weren't kidding - that's a lot of stuff". And she replied "No, you don't understand... this is just the Christmas decorations!"
So I have to keep reminding myself that it could be much, much worse. I keep feeling guilty about filling my city-provided trash can each week for the past month or so - it just seems like SO MUCH WASTE to me. But it helps to remember that most households in this city fill theirs to capacity every single week! And you're totally right about ancient societies - I guess trash is just part of the human condition. Sigh.
Mostly my husband solves the rag problem for me - if I do not cut something up into rag-sized pieces, he will just keep wearing it. Holes, stains, shows ass-crack, whatever, if it will physically stay together on his body, it's "clothes". So I have always cut them up and then they go in the rag bin and get used as rags.
ReplyDeleteThe other stuff (including the former bag of strips of rags that I was going to make into rag rugs)...it's not about the stuff. It's about me. Am I *really* going to finish that project or fix that object? Given my current list of unfinished projects, no. So it's a kind of aspirational clutter and it's good for my psyche to get rid of it. Know thy limits, know thy self.
I hope your now, Freecycle, or toss rule works - our monthly Really Really Free Market has been great for me in this respect. If I am trying to give it away for free and nobody wants it, it's trash. Someone ELSE might be able to reroute it for reuse - like the professional stuff-managers at the big thrift stores - but if it's on the list of things they don't take (broken objects mostly qualify) and nobody wants it for free, it's definitely trash.
The good part is that a lot of stuff we take to the free market, someone actually wants! And that person is probably a person who really will fix/reuse the thing. Which is easier for them to do right now than if I hold onto it for more years while it gets more obsolete and no less broken.
Oy, I fear I've been known to pull a few things out of the rag bag from time to time, but I am reformed... for realz this time!
DeleteAnd funny you should mention rag rugs... I just washed and packed up the half finished one I had in the basement, along with all of the fabric I had saved for it. Hopefully I can find someone who will take it - I've posted it on Freecycle & we'll see. I tried to wash the little cut up quilt pieces (another one of those aspirational projects) but alas, the tiny pieces of un-hemmed cut fabric didn't fare well in the wash so it got tossed.
One good thing about the carpet beetle infestation is that it's allowing me to feel less guilty about just trashing some things because it takes serious effort to de-beetle items, so if I'm not reasonably sure that someone will want it, it's really not worth the trouble.
I do feel a bit guilty though because I put an old hide-a-bed mattress out for the large item trash pickup and somebody took it! I hope whomever it was doesn't end up getting a beetle infestation too... perhaps I should have placed a warning note on it!
But I have had remarkable luck with Craigslist and Freecycle in the past - I even got someone to take an old leaking waterbed mattress once - they wanted it for a pond liner. Hopefully my newfound minimalist(ish) zeal will stick around even after I succeed in evicting the carpet beetles! (She says as she looks around frantically trying to find a piece of wood to knock on...)
Rag rugs are such a thing for greenies! They're well within my limited ability levels, they are cute and useful, and we have rags!
DeleteI think that guilt is a really useful emotion, IF you go ahead and trash the thing and suffer through the bad feeling. It helps you avoid acquiring things in the future.
Big IF there... and IF you are actually smart enough to not put yourself through the same thing over and over and over...
DeleteSomeone emailed me about possibly taking the rag rug today, and I'm so happy that it might become someone else's project soon!
If nothing else, this whole experience has made it clear to me that I am a limited being. I have limited time and energy to pursue projects, and read books, and fix things, and do all of the other "maybe someday" stuff that keep me holding onto so much junk! It's actually quite freeing to let go of not just the physical objects, but the idea that I somehow "should" be doing all of the things that my belongings would imply.
I've been working on my "reuse/recycle" stash. I had a box of electronics - cords, phones, cameras - that I was saving to take to a store that recycles those types of things. Plus I saved wine corks to take to another place. Problem is both stores are in a city abou an hour and a half from me and since I've cut way down on shopping and driving I almost never go to that city. I realized it made no sense to save those items since I wasn't going to drive three hours and waste all that gas and wear and tear on my vehicle to recycle them so I ended up tossing them. I'm going to work on my rag boxes soon.
ReplyDeleteYay! Free yourself, I say! Seriously, there's only so much one can do, and when it comes to the point of driving all over in an attempt to "do the right thing" you very quickly hit a point of diminishing returns. Good luck with those rag boxes! :-)
DeleteOh, the rag bag!! My husband has about five of them in the garage. There are two main reasons why I don't use the rags. One is that the bags are so full and have been there so long I'm afraid that I might happen upon a nest of mice in there. The other is that I'd rather die than use a pair of his discarded Y-fronts to clean anything!!
ReplyDeleteIn other news though, my carpet beetles seem to be gone (but I haven't told him that yet as he does seem to be doing some clearing out).
Wow! I'm so happy for you that you managed to get rid of the carpet beetles! I found yet another one by the patio door this morning, so my work continues...
DeleteAnd I've gotta say, I'm thrilled with my new box of rags. Somehow the fact that it's all cut up into usable sizes that no longer look like the original articles of clothing really helps - I totally see where you're coming from with the underwear though! :-)
Love this post! I have the exact same problem. I have just today filled a bag with a million margarine tubs that I have saved, because it pains me so much to throw non-recyclable plastic away. I will never reuse them all, so my husband made me ditch them :-(
ReplyDeleteI feel your pain! It's just not possible to find uses for all of the garbage that comes into our modern little lives.
DeleteBoy you have been busy while I've been away! The rag bag I'm good on but I do have my struggles with throwing things away. I am pretty good about cutting up worn clothing and fabrics into rags and my rags tend to disappear keeping my stash of rags to a limit. the children will grab one for a runny nose and take it with them when they leave so my basket is rarely full.
ReplyDeleteNow on throwing other stuff away I am horrible. I have a pile of cheap pressed boards from mass produced furniture people offered to me by saying if I didn't want them they were going to put them out for trash. I also have an end table sitting on my deck I pulled out of a neighbors trash because she said she had the drawers, turns out she doesn't. I'm ready to carry it back down to her trash just to get it out of here. The pressed boards are also close to being tosssed out. The latest cleaning came about after having the children here for a month, all of a sudden my stuff seemed overwhelming when their bags arrived and needed a place to be stored. Today was my first day alone in a month and I got to cleaning right away, well after getting some much needed rest. Who knows how much will go out the door in this latest cleaning marathon. :-)
Oh, you should see what my garage looks like! The previous two occupants of this house (meaning sequential) were both woodworkers, and they left behind a plethora of wood scraps. Add to that the various pieces of lumber I've scavenged over the years, and it's just totally crazy out there. I had actually planned to tackle it this summer, but alas, more pressing things have arisen!
DeleteBest of luck on cleaning and resting. I think I'd be nuts if I'd had house guests for a month!
Please don't let me any where near your garage I'd be tormented trying not to adopt all of it.
DeleteI thought a month long visit with the kids was going to be a lot for me but in the end I really enjoyed them being here. That's probably because they used to visit every day for a few hours so we know how to work well together. Now my ex plans to be here next month for our grandson's second birthday. He will be here a week or less and I'm already dreading his visit as we have no common interests and he wants me to sit around doing nothing like he does. Want to trade, I'll work on your beetles (if you lock up your garage) and you can entertain my ex. :-)
Ha! I fear I'm even worse at entertaining than I am at getting rid of stuff. Seriously, when I hauled the extra bed out of the basement (because it was infested with larvae) I realized that it had only been used twice the entire 20 years I've owned this house - both times by the same friend! I think I'm just not cut out for house guests!
DeleteOther than my grandchildren I don't do well with house guests. I just had good news and bad. First the bad my son was laid off again and needed a place to stay because he found a temporary position down by me. The good news is my ex won't be staying with me. Now if I get through this month long stay with my son. :-(
DeleteOy! Aren't you glad you're not trying to host him in a one room apartment? :)
DeleteI also have trouble throwing things out. We spend our childhoods and early adult years slowly collecting things, but then we really get to a point where we have everything we need except some consumable stuff and stuff for new activities and it's hard to change.
ReplyDeleteI like your rules. For you. I have different rules, which I enjoy having. I have some space-oriented ones such as:
* I don't need more clothes than will fit in my closet and drawers (um, except for some things that I love except they don't go with anything or I think I will be that size again)
* I don't need more books than will fit in my shelves
* I don't need more kitchen supplies and food than will fit in my kitchen
Another strategy is to pay more attention when you're bringing things into the house.
For example, I try not to buy any books unless I already know I will like them and either want to re-read them multiple times or lend them out to people. Same rule for DVDs. But what about when I stop re-reading the books? I am a little different now and don't love them anymore. And they are dated and so not necessarily great for young people? It's hard to get rid of those things.
I don't buy clothes unless they are washable, they fit, they're flattering, they go with stuff I have, they are things I would actually wear, etc.
There are some people who go out of their way to not buy trash (or one-use items). So, for example, they buy things in bulk using their own containers. They buy things used rather than new in bubble packs. That sort of thing. And of course also re-usable dishes, napkins, storage containers rather than one-use stuff.
And there's a spring-cleaning like strategy where you do things every so often like test whether all your pens work and stuff. Or you can pull everything out of a space and only put it back as you use it.
And there's looking into the durability and/or repairability of things. (My spell-checker thinks repairability is not a word. So sad.) So things are more likely to last and not have to be trashed and re-bought so many times.
I'm pretty good about not buying things except for consumables and necessary stuff, but I do have a LOT of stuff that has been given to me. My problem is that I HATE to drive around town to get things, so I end up buying online, which leads to more cardboard!
DeleteEnvironmentally I think it's a toss up - but online is generally cheaper, and it's a whole lot easier. So I just have to make myself recycle the boxes - though at this point the problem is all the stuff stored in boxes, half of which is full of bugs! OY! I'm getting there though.
And the spring cleaning idea is one I really need to adopt. Not sure spring is the best time for me to do it because I'm generally psychotically busy then, what with trying to get the garden in and the uptick in cycling hours... maybe winter cleaning?
Anyhow, I think doing a bi-annual clothing rotation would be helpful - both because I think it will take a while to get this beetle situation completely under control, and until then I don't really want anything not worn regularly to be un-sealed and open to infestation - and because it will be a good opportunity to purge things that either don't get used or have crossed the line and should be made into rags.
You are not alone. My mother in law keeps the weirdest things. She also keeps cardboard boxes - to the point that she couldn't even use her walk-in shower because she had filled it up with boxes!
ReplyDeleteYikes! She makes me look like a downright neat freak.
DeleteI don't have a problem throwing things away. There are some things I buy and keep way too much of (mostly cookbooks and groceries), but I have no trouble throwing away/getting rid of most other things.
ReplyDeleteIt just about kills about my husband, though! We've determined that he's actually a hoarder. He's also the king of procrastination, so that makes for a pretty rough combination. He's getting better about getting rid of things as we're together longer.
I just can't deal with clutter, stuff all over the place, not having clear surfaces, and having to move stuff around to get to the things you actually need. It makes me anxious and crazy. Even hubby admits he feels better about the way the house looks as we get rid of more and more stuff.
Well, I am trying very hard to embrace the concept that less is more, but it is a daily struggle for me. I'm sure some of it comes from having lived with very little money at various points in my life, but some of it is just plain laziness - I HATE having to make the decision about whether to keep something or not, so I just put it aside and figure I'll decide later... only "later" never comes. Sigh.
Delete