So, I had an interesting thought today. Look out! She's thinking again... it could get dangerous!
I was reading a book review over on The Frugal Girl about a family who decided to try to cut out all sugar for a year. In the discussion section someone pointed out that for some people moderation works best while others do better with all out abstinence. I could immediately relate to this comment.
If you remember my Food Foibles post of about a week ago, the constant theme was that with many of my "trouble foods" once I start, I simply cannot stop. I speak as a person who has managed to down the equivalent of three giant chocolate bars in a week's time! Oy!
Anyhow... it got my little brain twirling and I realized that, for me at least, there is a HUGE difference between enjoyment and satisfaction. Many of the foods that I find to be really enjoyable, I also find to be intensely dissatisfying.
I'm not really sure how to put the sensation into words. It's sorta like when I eat chocolate, or ice cream, or dried fruit etc, it's pleasurable, but not quite as pleasurable as I want it to be, so I always feel like I need just a little bit more to be satisfied. And before you know it three chocolate bars have disappeared, and there's still no sense of satisfaction!
With the really sweet stuff like cake or frosting it's even worse. I always expect it to taste good, but it never really does. But somehow I become convinced that if I just eat a little bit more it will eventually taste as good as I think it should.
It sorta reminded me of a story CatMan once told me. I asked him if he ever tried cocaine back in his hippie days. He said he tried it once and immediately realized that it was a trap, because all it felt like was more.
It strikes me that this must be how addiction works, and it sorta turns my mental image of addiction on its head. I guess I always assumed that when a person is addicted to something it's because they really, REALLY like the substance or activity.
But now I'm starting to think that it's much more complicated than that. If my little enjoyment vs. satisfaction theory is correct, then people experiencing addiction aren't repeating the behavior because they like it so much, they're doing it because the experience leaves them in a state of being almost satisfied but not quite.
Is this just completely crazy, or has anybody else out there ever experienced anything like this? I'm dying to know what y'all think about my crazy little theory.