Saturday, December 3, 2016

An Update, and a Santa Story

Hello there world!

OK... this post will be much less whiny than the last few have been... I promise!


So first of all, an update. My geeking has been coming along nicely.


Long story short, I've been re-writing websites and setting up new servers. The learning curve is steep, but I think I'm turning the corner. All of my sites are now mobile-compatible, the one that was crashing all the time has finally stopped misbehaving, and once I get things transferred to the new server I'll be able to cut nearly $100/month off of my expenses. Plus, having a better understanding of what's going on "under the hood" can only be good, right? So, a big woo hoo on that front!


I've also stepped up my game in terms of making new content for my sites - which is actually the part that I really enjoy. My latest accomplishment is falling snow gifs... Waddya think?


That brings me to my little Santa story. For some reason, I woke up this morning thinking about this, and thought it might give you all a little chuckle. So here's a little holiday humor for you.

One year, I decided to leave out some cookies and milk for Santa.


When I got up on Christmas morning, I was delighted to see that a few of the cookies were gone, and half of the milk had been drunk. BUT, on closer inspection, I was horrified to see that the rim of the glass had lipstick on it!!! WHAT?!?!


Needless to say, this was a very disturbing development. And there were only a few possible explanations.

Option one: My mother had stolen the cookies and milk left for Santa.


She, of course denied this, and really, it didn't make logical sense. I mean, there were plenty more cookies, and gallons of milk in the kitchen, if she'd wanted some, she could have just gotten them there.

Soooo... option two: There really was no Santa and my mother had been impersonating him by eating the cookies and drinking the milk.


But, I was not quite ready to believe that, sooo....

That left only one more plausible explanation: Santa was a cross dresser!
Don't ask me why, but that's where my seven year old little brain went, and for a few hours I was thoroughly convinced that my transvestite Santa was real. But as the day wore on, I just couldn't quite come to terms with the lipstick and the beard, and finally had to accept the sad reality that there was, in fact, no Santa Clause.


True story.

Anyhow, that's the news from the funny farm.

I'm sure everyone can remember that first moment when they realized that there really was no Santa Clause... I'd love to hear yours!



27 comments :

  1. Hooray for successful geekery! The snowy gif is really cute. I don't really understand how you make money out of these things, but I hope it works for you. Reading about how the election result is affecting you makes it all very real. We're watching in horror from the other side of the pond, and I alternate between trying to pretend it's not happening and...
    "We're doomed."

    The transvestite Santa made me laugh, especially how you decided that couldn't be right, because it wouldn't work with the beard.

    When I was about five a big kid tried to tell me that Santa didn't exist but I refused to believe her. Why would I take her word for it over my mum's?

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    1. I'm glad you liked my little snow gif - basically I make money from ads on the site where I distribute all of the graphics.

      I too am alternating between telling myself that everything will be OK and waiting for the world to come to an abrupt and catastrophic end. I guess time will tell. My dad thinks they'll have a hard time dismantling the health care law because the insurance industry now has a vested interest in its existence... but I'm not entirely convinced.

      And I probably had some small inkling that Santa was bogus before this event... I think putting out the cookies was my way of gathering empirical evidence! :-)

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  2. I'm glad that all of the work on your businesses is getting some results.

    The story about the lipstick on the glass somehow fits in well with all of the other stories about your mother. Just another tidbit about the interesting woman she was.

    As for Santa for me, I just gradually figured it out. I played along for a long time because the idea of Santa was so magical. I don't remember the age exactly I figured it out, but I do remember that in third grade everyone made fun of one boy who still believed in Santa. At that point I knew there was no Santa, but I kept quiet about my wanting to believe.

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    1. Life with my mother was always interesting, that's for sure! I think by the third grade I had few illusions left, but it's nice to know that there are still some kids who are able to maintain their innocence that long. Too bad the poor guy got made fun of.

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  3. Glad to see a positive update from you, Cat. With all the turbulence in the world and my overwhelming sense of being lost (I'm graduating college soon and have no idea what I want to do with my life), your blog updates are one of the few things keeping me sane!

    Hope everything continues to go well for you.

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    1. OK, I have to say that the thought of anyone relying on my posts for a sense of sanity is downright terrifying! I do remember the feeling of horror when I was about to graduate from college. I sorta felt like I was stepping off the edge of a cliff with no parachute! But I have every confidence that you'll navigate it all with grace.

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    2. No need to panic, I enjoy all that you write! And have been reading your thoughts for years so it's the one constant among an abundance of (welcome, but stressful) change!

      It is a horror feeling, isn't it? I'm older than my fellow classmates and so ready to be out in the world, yet it's a feeling unlike anything I've ever experienced before. For once I have no idea what I'm doing next. But we'll get there!

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    3. I read once that fear and excitement are really the same emotion, it's just our interpretation that makes one seem positive and the other negative. So one way to look at it is that this is a very exciting time! Hang in there, I'm sure it will all work out fine. xoxoxo

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  4. I like the falling snow! Regarding Santa - Like live and learn I played along for longer than I actually believed. However I also thought it was more likely that there was a Santa than to think that my very frugal parents would blow all that money on Christmas presents for us kids. Not that my folks were stingy, but most people I knew didn't seem to have that much discretionary income back then.

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    1. Ha! I love your reasoning - there must be a Santa because my parents would NEVER spend that sort of money!

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  5. I, too, do not remember when. I was around 3rd grade (maybe 5th), I think, when I noticed that my parents didn't have anything in their stockings. And then I became Santa. To this day, I maintain Santa comes and fills stockings. I really love the version of the story that says that Santa needs helpers because he can't possibly visit everyone, and everyone who gives something in secret at Christmas time *is* Santa. Hence, Santa does exist.

    Even lovelier, my MIL always believed in Santa (and thus my husband goes along as well). When she was little, may 5 or 6, her father died. Her Mom barely hung on (this was the mid/late 1940s) and had nothing for Christmas. On Christmas Eve, however, a tree and presents were delivered to their front door by Santa. From then on, she knew there WAS a Santa!

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    1. What a sweet story about your MIL. It just goes to show that a single act of kindness can have an impact that can last for generations.

      And I totally LOVE the idea that anyone giving in secret actually is Santa... now you've got me feeling all sentimental - I may have to go watch It's a Wonderful Life of something!

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    2. There's the essence of Christmas right there, in that story.
      Of course there's a Santa. How bleak life would be if it weren't possible to believe in Christmas magic!

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  6. Um ... HOW did a 7 year old come up with the idea of a transvestite Santa? Your mind works in curious ways, Cat ...

    When I was 5, the tooth fairy failed to leave money under my pillow. I complained about it to my mom and big brother, who told me that I didn't check well enough under the pillow and made me go back and look. There was money under the pillow, but by then I was on to them. I told them "YOU are the tooth fairy, and Santa and the Easter bunny too, right???"

    When my daughter was probably 5-ish, she told us that she saw the tooth fairy, who was a woman wearing a blue dress with wings. Since my hubby always did the tooth fairy bit, we had a (private) good laugh about that one for years--he would prance around pretending to wave a wand. So, come to think of it, maybe there is something to mythical childhood crossdressing figures ... hmmm ....

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    1. Oh my! So much crossdressing! You know, now that you mention it I can't remember ever really believing in the tooth fairy or Easter bunny - I wonder why those characters didn't "stick" with me like Santa did.

      And I have NO idea how I came up with the whole transvestite thing at such a young age. I do remember my older brother dressing up like a girl for a school play once - he was "Clementine" acting out the whole "Oh my Darling" thing... So maybe I learned the concept there? Who knows!

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    2. It is also true for me that "everyone knew" about the tooth fairy and Easter bunny at a young age. I actually had to ask my mom about Santa, though. I asked for and received the truth. A sad day, but not too shocking by then.

      Then I felt bad about all those Christmas mornings. Especially that time when my parents were up late putting together bikes AND toy boxes (not to mention we always put our tree up on Christmas Eve) for two of us. And then we kids wake up at the crack of dawn chanting, "Santa Claus came! Santa Claus came!" with great glee.

      At least then I could understand why my parents weren't as excited by this as we were!

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    3. Maybe we're less wedded to the idea of the tooth fairy or Easter bunny because they don't bring the caliber of loot that Santa does! ;-)

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  7. My daughter believed in Santa and the tooth fairy until a ridiculous age! I was almost gagging for her to stop believing! She used to write the most elaborate letters to Santa, asking after Mrs Claus and all the reindeer and checking he was looking after himself. I'm getting a bit emotional now!!! However, it wasn't much fun replying to those letters at 1am Xmas Day(when you could be sure the kids were finally asleep!) with a few glasses of wine inside me! Ex used to just trot off to bed and leave me to it - wonder why we divorced??? lol

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    1. Oh, that's so sweet that your daughter was concerned about Santa's family and all. And I'm sure your response letters kept the illusion alive - I'm guessing the wine allowed your writing creativity to flow! :-)

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  8. Glad to hear your websites are doing better and it's improved your spirits.

    Loved your Santa story! You were quite young to come up with that version of Santa. :-) You reminded me of my youngest son and his Santa story. He was about a year older than you and was starting to question whether Santa was real when the Santa Clause movie came out with Tim Allen. We saw the movie, which was cute and fun for a family outing but as we walked out of the movie my son turns to me and announced that he got how Santa did everything in one night and got into houses without a fireplace. My oldest groaned hoping this was the year we could stop the nonsense. Anyway Christmas passes and one of his friends tells him there is no Santa. He confronts me and I tell him that his friend is right. He then goes on this huge rant complaining that while I insist that lying is wrong and won't tolerate it from my kids that I was lying to him all along. He insists he will never do that to his kids. Fast forward to his expecting his first child and he still tells everyone how horrible I was to lie to him about Santa, tooth fairy etc and insists still his kids won't be lied to. His wife wants their children to have the fantasy and he decides to compromise with her. His compromise? The children can be told there is a Santa but Santa can't bring any of the cool presents. So five years in Santa brings the underwear, socks, PJ's and the like.

    Who knew eight years of playing Santa on my part would give my son the next twenty years to complain about his mother being a hypocrite. :-)

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    1. Oh my... I guess you can't win for losin'! I think your son's compromise is hilarious. It's like: OK, Santa can exist, but he has to be a total Christmas killjoy. I can see that backfiring though, like the kids might start to wonder why Santa brings such nice stuff to the other kids but only brings them socks and underwear! At least they won't be too disappointed when they find out he's not real!

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    2. Lois, my oldest sister also insists that my parents lied to her; that soured her on the Santa experience with her kids. I think she told them that Santa was fun, but not real. I am 14 years younger than she is, and when she first told me the story, I remember thinking, "well, how stupid of you not to have figured it out in the first place!". Such a supportive sibling I am ...

      We never told our children that Santa is real. I kept it purposely vague and let them draw their own conclusions. Both ended up believing in Santa. When pressed, I would bring up the historical St. Nicholas story to them. So far, my kids seem to have escaped serious emotional scarring ....

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  9. In unrelated news, my portal started sending me posts from bemorewithless.com instead of yours. Fortunately, you are easy to google, and I have you back.

    I'm saddened that such a bug is possible. It's just another example of how electronic things aren't really predictable like physical things are. Of course physical things don't hand me new blog posts on a regular basis, so there's that!

    Glad you've made some good and fun progress!

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    1. How very odd. Well, I'm delighted that you're back! I always love your comments!

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  10. Yup. I remember walking into a storage room next to my bedroom and seeing a gift I had asked for (a Hulk Hogan wrestling buddy) on top of a pile of other stuff. I had my suspicions before that, but still really wanted to believe. At that point, I had to give up the ghost.

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    1. Oh nooooo... that was a tactical error to leave it exposed like that!

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  11. I love your falling snow gif! Very glad to hear that the tech skillz have paid off. So clever to be able to work out all that stuff and fix things!

    That is the best Santa discovery story ever! Sad but also funny when parents bust themselves. My son found out when my husband took a zillion photos of himself sweating over assembling the trampoline. J. Was messing around with the phone and discovered 'Santa' at work ������

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Thanks, and have a fabulous day!