Monday, January 18, 2016

My Purse (or Lack Thereof)

I've run into a few things on the interwebs recently that got me to thinking about my purse... so I figured I'd show it to you:


Yup folks, this and a phone is all that I carry.

It wasn't always this way. Years ago I was one of those women who lugged around a huge bag with everything but the kitchen sink in it.


Then one day, the unthinkable happened. It got stolen. It was nothing terribly dramatic like getting mugged or something - it was taken from under my desk in my private office at work.

But let me tell you folks... it was a total nightmare!

Thankfully, at the time we had a number of rooms in the music school that were kept locked, so I had a habit of carrying my keys in my pocket - if not for that, it could have been much, much worse.

As it was, by the time I got home and called my credit card companies, several thousand dollars had been charged to my accounts. I immediately froze all of the accounts and thankfully didn't have to pay for the charges.

But that's just the beginning of the nightmare. I had been to the bank earlier that day, and had requested a printout of all of my account balances. So my purse had all of the account numbers with balance info in it, as well as my checkbook.

I called the bank and immediately froze all of my accounts - as well as calling the credit agencies and freezing everything from that end.

So now the real nightmare began.



Everything had been in my purse... EVERTYHING - and now it was gone. I had no ID, I had no cash, I had no access to my bank accounts or credit cards, and I found myself caught in an infinite loop of sorts, because without ID, there was no way to un-freeze any of my accounts or start the process of re-building. And there was also no way to replace my ID without other forms of ID - all of which had also been in my purse.


The only way forward was to get a certified copy of my birth certificate. Now, I'm not sure if I've mentioned this before, but I was born during a stint when my father was teaching at the University of Hawaii. We moved back to the mainland when I was an infant, but this fact significantly complicated the process of getting a certified copy of my birth certificate. I looked on the State of Hawaii webpage, and they said they could get me one in a few hours if I came into the office.... well... um... let's see, I'll just hop on a plane without any money... um nope!

I ended up requesting the birth certificate by mail, but I had to pay $14 or so... and my checking account had been frozen... I ended up borrowing some cash from CatMan and getting a cashier's check to pay for the birth certificates - which took several weeks to arrive. (And yes... in case you're curious, it looks just like Obama's - we were born in the same hospital.)


Oh, but the joy was just beginning. I had all of my paychecks automatically deposited into my checking account, and all of my bills automatically withdrawn. The account had to be closed permanently, and thus began the process of contacting every institution that I paid bills to out of that account and redoing the entire process... plus dealing with the bills that hadn't gotten paid in the weeks that it took to get the birth certificate so I could get a replacement driver's license, so I could open a new checking account to start over.

OY!



Anyhow, the whole experience was horrible enough, that I decided to make some changes.

The first thing I did was to get rid of the purse! I decided that anything as important as a credit card or my driver's license was going to stay on my person whenever I was out of the house. The little coin purse pictured above works perfectly. It's just big enough to carry a few cards and some cash, but small enough to fit nicely into a pocket.

This does mean that I need to pick my clothing carefully to ensure that I have adequate pockets (preferably pockets with zippers), but that's a small price to pay for never having to go through the whole stolen purse thing again.



The other change I made was to stop carrying everything important with me. I actually opened a second checking account that I call my spending account. I only keep a few hundred bucks in there at any given time, and I have a debit card for that account that I carry with me - no check book. My "main checking account" still has everything automatically deposited and deducted, but that checkbook lives in a locked box in a safe place in my house, and NOTHING with that info on it ever leaves the house.

I also keep some emergency cash in a safe place at home, and only carry one credit card with me - the others stay in the lock box at home.



When I first made these changes I thought it would be a huge inconvenience, but the truth is, it is just SO MUCH EASIER! You never have to worry about leaving it somewhere, or deal with the thing sliding off your shoulder, or lugging it around. I think it's safe to say that I will never go back!

So how about you? Do you carry a big purse with you? Have you ever had it stolen? What do you think about this whole topic?


45 comments :

  1. I like your little wallet. I still carry a purse as I need to take my reading glasses with me all the time, I've tried smaller ones but I can't get it all to fit.
    I carry reading glasses and sunglasses(they are corrective ones that I need for driving)
    I also have a notepad,and a pen. My purse is one that has slots for the cards I carry.My debit and 2 credit cards, driver's license, health card and library card. I have a small wallet like yours that I keep money in.
    The purse I have just now has a long strap which goes across my body, so I think that makes it a wee bit safer.
    I often remove some of my cards when I know I won't be using them.
    My library card I always carry as you never know when you might need to make an emergency stop for a book:)
    Marieann

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    1. I have reading glasses for home, like if I'm reading a book or doing paperwork where I need lots of close up vision. But for day to day stuff, I wear progressive bifocals. I don't drive much anymore, so I don't really worry about sunglasses, but back when I still drove to work every day I kept a pair of prescription sunglasses in the glove compartment of my car so I always had them when I needed them.

      Library card... now that's a different story. It comes with me wherever I go because, you never know! :-)

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  2. And I meant to say, what a horrible experience, I hope whoever took it got their karma returned to them. I'm glad it all turned out well.
    I love your kitties, always brightens my day
    Marieann

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    1. I figure whoever took it probably has much bigger problems than I do. I was just thankful that the fallout wasn't any bigger than it was!

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  3. Ha! I also carry my library card (and my daughter's, too) for a library emergency.

    I do carry a purse, but you make a good argument for not carrying one. Like Marieann, I carry glasses/sunglasses, tissues, billfold with driver's license/credit card/health card/checkbook, tampons, keys, sometimes gum, and a granola bar (I'm hypoglycemic and it has come in handy). I found a great purse (probably more of a "bag") a year ago made out of that hard-wearing sporty material. It's small, the strap can fit across my body, but it's attractive, too. Your story brings out my inner paranoia, but I tend to keep my purse where I can physically be touching it most of the time, and my locker at work has a combination on it. Your post will make me do some hard thinking about carrying a purse!

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    1. We're all such library geeks! And I don't even read that much, but I still carry my card with me.

      I think the fact that I work from home makes this no-purse thing much easier than it might otherwise be. I do keep an emergency stash of tissues, sunglasses etc in the car though. But even back when I was working, I discovered that it was actually much easier to just keep some snacks, Tylenol, tampons, etc in a drawer at work rather than to haul them around with me.

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    2. I have a friend who refers to her car as a giant purse. :)

      When I read everyone's comments, it sounds to me like we use the most practical carrying item for our essentials. Like Live and Learn, I never switch purses for cosmetic reasons, and the bag I carry is the smallest I can get away with. I am all over the hospital at work, so I carry a storage clipboard with me which mostly has work essentials, but I also stick a protein bar in there, too. Maybe that's my work purse? :) What I have carried has varied with my needs at the time--I hated hauling around a diaper bag, so when I had kids that needed all those items, I carried a medium sized purse that would hold a few baby essentials. I was happy to graduate to a small purse when they outgrew that stage.

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    3. Ha! I love your work purse strategy. I've known friends whose cars were a repository for anything and everything - I just keep an old duffle bag in mine with a first aid kit, some emergency food & water, tampons, Tylenol etc.

      If you'd like to be amused, here's my friend Mary singing about the junk heap that lives in her car:
      https://youtu.be/AiZlXOgmGQs

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    4. Cute! I grew up listening to all kinds of quirky music--this reminded me of my dad. We used to listen to the Flint (yes, THAT Flint, the one in the news with the lead in the water) Banjo Club--dad loved it. I'm possibly the only person (well, except for mom and my siblings) who spent Sundays singing southern gospel in church, listened to Polka Time in the car on the way home, to be capped off by opera in the afternoon.

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    5. Gospel, polka and opera - now that is varied musical taste! Anyhow, sorry to pummel you with strange songs, it's just that whenever anyone talks about having lots of stuff in their car, all I can think of is Mary and the mouse that she never found! :-)

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  4. For all of you library geeks, our library will let you check out things with a photo ID such as a driver's license. If yours does the same, you can eliminate one more thing from your wallet.

    Yours is a very good cautionary tale. I carry a purse, but not very big by today's standards and I never switch it to coordinate with the outfit of the day. I'd never know where anything is if I did that. Your tale also points out another problem--lack of pockets in women's cloths.

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    1. Ooo... I'll have to check with the library about the ID thing. And don't EVEN get me started on my "lack of pockets in women's clothes" rant! Grrrrr...

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  5. Ah, another language difference! In Britain, a purse generally means exactly what you showed in your first picture, so it took me a moment to figure out what point you were making with that photo. What you have in the second picture is a handbag. If you can get a cat in it, it's not a purse!

    I have a fairly large handbag which currently contains purse (wallet) with cash, debit card (I don't have a credit card), library card, driving licence and a few others, keys, a collection of pens that disappear into the lining, a shopping bag, a few painkillers and antihistamines, and my phone. About an hour ago, it also contained an e-reader, a dictionary, notes from Welsh class, and the empties from my lunch. This is why I like having a bit bag - I can get a lot of stuff in it (unless there's a cat in there, in which case it gets more difficult).

    On the other hand, I don't like taking it with me, so quite often I'll stick my purse, wallet and phone in my pockets and leave the bag at home. Other times I don't even take those. I like the idea of not needing to have stuff with me at all times. This annoys people who expect everyone to have a mobile phone with them (charged up and switched on) at all times.

    As for ID, the one thing I hardly ever take with me is my passport. That lives in what I hope is a non-obvious place in the house and only comes out when I'm travelling, in which case I tend to me much more vigilant. At least, I do since the time my purse got snatched out of my bag on the Paris metro.

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    1. When you say "Welsh class", does that mean you are learning the language?

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    2. Ha! The language bug strikes again!

      You've reminded me that I really do want to get a passport just to have another indisputable form of photo ID. Traveling out of the country is probably not something that's in my near future, but it would still be good to have one.

      And I think we actually have similar strategies. If I'm going somewhere that I need a lot of stuff, I would probably bring a backpack or some other sort of a bag to haul it all in, but I still keep my little zippered coin purse with the essentials on my body. I don't EVER want to go through that nightmare again! :-)

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    3. That's one thing about living in a tiny little country like the UK - we don't have to travel very far before we need a passport, so most people have one and they're treated as a pretty definitive ID.

      Yes Kris, I am indeed learning Welsh. This may seem a little less bizarre if you know that I live in Wales ;-) I wrote a rambling blog post about it recently, if you're interested: Dysgu Cymraeg

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    4. PS In my previous comment I meant to say, "Purse, keys and phone", but obviously got sidetracked by whether to use the word 'purse' or 'wallet'. No edit button!

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    5. Yes... the last passport I had was from my last trip to Europe - I haven't had need for one since. I don't think you need one to travel from here to either Canada or Mexico. Still it would be good to have the ID.

      And the old language thing... I'm now starting to wonder how often we think we're communicating when we really aren't! :-)

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    6. I think you do need a passport now to travel to Canada. Or a special Nexus card for people who cross the border regularly.

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    7. Interesting... I have never actually been to Canada - well one time we crossed over the border at Niagra Falls for a few minutes, but that's as close as I've gotten to the Great White North.

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  6. I knew there would be something interesting here when I read the title, but yikes!

    My boyfriend does what you do, but his change purse is leather. Also, he has a lot of things on his key chain (like ear plugs).

    I also have that change purse--inside my purse. Which is sometimes inside my backpack. So that I can really carry everything!

    I used to like lots of pockets in my purse to keep everything where I could find it, but now I have several smaller containers instead:
    * fabric change purse - holds money, stamps, and frequent buyer cards
    * leather card holder - holds credit cards, Target card, gift cards
    * picture holder - holds membership cards (like my library card, insurance cards, blood donor cards)
    * single pocket in purse - ear plugs, ibuprofen, extra hair barrette, pen

    Plus I have these:
    * phone
    * camera
    * grocery bag (it folds up pretty small)
    * little plastic fork (for samples, so I don't have to throw away their fork)
    * receipts (still no good container for that)

    In one pants pocket are my keys. On my key chain are house keys, bike chain key, flashlight, and army knife (I did remove my parents' house keys). In the other pocket I have a hair band (for if it gets hot or windy), a hanky, and my pedometer.

    My passport is at home and I finally started keeping my checkbook and check register at home because I only write checks at home now and I usually don't enter my purchase at the register, so I just do that at home too. So my checking account would probably be safe except that my Target card accesses it.

    I should probably learn to use the camera on my phone and take my camera out of my purse because I mostly just use that at parties and on vacations (and sometimes on walks).

    My purse has not been lost or stolen for a long time, but I do understand that luck has been involved.

    One advantage I have is that my boyfriend and I have separate accounts and credit cards, so we can be backup for each other. Even as a married couple sharing everything, I'd still want separate accounts.

    I like your idea of leaving one credit card at home. I think I have one from my credit union which has low interest but no rewards which I keep in case I need to go into debt again. But I'm not absolutely sure it still works since I never use it. Ideally, it would be the one from which all automatic payments are taken. But I also use that card for other purchases that are not from grocery stores or gas stations. I used to have two versions of that card, but just canceled one for simplicity's sake. Well, I should think about this some more.

    Mostly, everything I have is stuff I have a long history of using and love having with me. I'm realizing I probably don't need to keep my stamps in there anymore, though. I'm not sure if there's anything else I could easily remove now that I'm retired. Good food for thought!

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    1. I have to say that I LOVE having a camera on my smartphone. It's not quite as good as my old point and click, but it's more than adequate for snapshots, and it's SOOOO easy to access the files because they're automatically uploaded to the cloud. Plus, it's one less thing to carry.

      I think having separate accounts is a fabulous idea for many reasons, emergency backup not being the least of them.

      Anyhow, in general I've just found that I feel so much less stress when I don't have to expend any mental energy worrying about leaving my purse somewhere or carrying it around. I do keep a hair brush and some hair ties in the car just in case I have a coiffure emergency though! :-)

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  7. I have wanted to ditch my purse for years -- between not finding any suitable women's wallets and the lack of pocket space in pretty clothing, it was just not possible. I need to revisit this. At least I work for the bank I have one set of accounts with, so that might help with identity issues. But what a cautionary tale you tell!

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    1. I think this is one instance where my disdain for all things fashion comes into play. If it doesn't have decent pockets, I just won't buy it! Seriously though, if you can find a way to swing it, life without a purse is much easier. :-)

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  8. Speaking as a guy, I can say I’m glad I don’t have that problem! I have whittled down my wallet over the years. In college I used to carry around my social security card! That is until I knew a guy who had his “life book” stolen from his car, which is a term he made up for his collection of social security card, birth certificates, credit cards, everything. Now I only carry cash, my bank card and most recent credit card, bus pass, drivers license and health plan ID.

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    1. Oof! Social Security Card! I lost mine as a small child - left it in some child's purse I'm sure. My replacement card now lives in my safe deposit box at the bank!

      Seriously though, every time I see a guy carrying one of those "man purses" all I can think is "NOOOOO!!!!" Don't you know how good you have it not being expected to haul one of those suckers around?!? Sigh.

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  9. Oh my what an experience. The closest I have to that was having my identity stolen, TWICE! but that only affected my bank accounts, my credit rating and yes the bills that didn't get paid from my account because the money was stolen.

    I did used to carry a huge purse, handbag :-), like you did. It came in handy when I had my boys because it was big enough to also function as a diaper bag and carry all the needs of a baby, toddler etc.

    Today I rarely carry a purse and then only if I am going to a public event. It's a small purse that barely holds a wallet, keys and a lip balm but it has a long strap that allows me to carry it across my body, which is helpful with a wheelchair, or to tuck the strap inside and it looks almost as nice as an evening bag.

    But the thing is I don't need much any more so I don't bother with the purse often. I have a tiny pocket on either side of my wheel chair right under the arm rest. In the one pocket I carry one debit card (the one for my second account never leaves the house), my library card and my cell phone. I have all I need. The cell must always be with me in case I get stuck or something and need to call for help. I have recently become a bit concerned that I will lose these items because my grandson who is a year old found he can open the pocket and pull out the things he finds. So far he announces what he's taken, but he's pretty sneaky and knows to wait till his sister has my attention. :-) So now I keep the debit card in a drawer at home to keep it safe from him.

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    1. Oh my gosh... keeping things safe from a toddler, I'm sure that can be a challenge. I recently discovered a stash of hair clips under the couch. Smoky likes to play with them, and if I leave one lying around he'll grab it and bat it around until it ends up lost under there! I was kinda wondering where they all went. Thankfully he's never done that with something important - well, he's stolen the ROKU box remote once or twice... it has a very tempting nylon wrist strap on the end that he finds irresistible!

      I'm thinking that the long strap around the body thing purse be the way to go if I ever find myself in a situation where I absolutely have to carry a bag - like going somewhere fancy where I just can't wear clothes with pockets or something.

      And having one's identity stolen doesn't sound like a party either. Here's hoping neither of us ever has to go through any of this stuff again!

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  10. Geez, what a headache for you! My credit/debit cards are the chip variety, which I understand never really caught on on the US. It requires a pin code, so the biggest issue here is card cloning. Nevertheless I have the toll-free customer service number memorized to act fast in case they get stolen.
    I love me some pockets. Good thing I look good in cargo pants! The only thing I carry around most of the time is one of those phone wallets, which my friends claim is completely lame, but then again I only use my phone for the occasional call or picture, not as a way to constantly avoiding paying attention to the world :o)

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    1. The chips have finally arrived here, but even though the changeover was supposed to happen last fall, only one of my card companies has sent me a new card with a chip, and very few of the stores I frequent have installed the new readers. But they don't require a PIN number - only if it's a debit card. Hmmm...

      Anyhow I can't believe you have the 800 number memorized! Now that's preparedness! And I've never heard of a phone wallet, perhaps I'll have to check them out!

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    2. Ha, I have a weirdly good memory for numbers (and numbers alone). I know all my documents numbers, including my rarely used passport and even my parents IDs and bank accounts. Got that from my father, who often calls me by the wrong name but can recite my ID anytime :o)

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    3. Holy Moly! That is a gift that I most definitely do NOT posses!

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  11. I have had a bag stolen twice. I have learned! The first time it happened, the bag itself was a nice one and expensive - never paid much for a bag since then. Also I had the habit of scribbling contact details in my diary and not transferring them over so when the first bag was stolen I lost contact with lots of people. The frustrating thing was getting cards at Christmas asking why I hadn't been in touch but not containing a return address so I still couldn't contact them! Frustrating or what? So now I religiously don't have anything in my bag that cannot be easily replaced. I usually use a small, cross-body bag for the essentials and keep a note of all my card numbers and the phone numbers to ring if I should lose them or have them stolen. Yup, I have learned a few lessons. I wish, wish, wish women's clothes were made with more pockets. If they were I wouldn't need to carry a bag at all. Frances

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    1. Oh no! Twice?!? That's some seriously bad bag karma there. I can't imagine losing contact info and not being able to replace it, how horrible.

      Anyhow, I'm fortunate in that I don't care about fashion, so if it doesn't have pockets, I just don't wear it! Otherwise I think I'd probably use the cross body small bag method too.

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    2. I hate it that women's clothes so often have shallow pockets, or I'd carry only my change purse, keys and phone in my pockets. I have a small crossbody handbag that holds those essentials, a pack of tissue, my sunglasses, a pen and some gum. When I'm out shopping, it stays securely across my body.

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  12. I'd love to live without a purse, and I did for some time, but I like to carry gum (can't keep in car: Florida) and sunglasses (would need multiple pairs to keep in car since I walk more often, and what do I do with them when in buildings?), and a pen. I can't imagine all my bank info being taken, too! Thankfully, I'm married, and we've always kept at least one separate credit card (ummm, I think. I better check on that). Luckily, I also have multiple copies of birth certificates (certified) from when we were adopting--you need so many we ordered them in bulk! LOL

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    1. The whole certified birth certificate thing sorta cracked me up. I mean it was the only form of ID that the motor vehicle place would accept to replace my driver's license - which totally made NO sense, because they had my photo, my fingerprints, my address and they'll send you a driver's license renewal by mail. But no... if you lose your license, gotta have that birth certificate. Then... it turns out that in order to get said birth certificate, all you needed to know was your name, your birthday, your parent's names and $14 - um... not exactly like some bad guy couldn't fake that info! CatMan said it reminded him of the army - giant steel bars everywhere but gaping holes if you knew where to walk!

      Anyhow, I suppose people in Florida don't have to wear jackets very often. Jacket pockets are my solution for carrying sunglasses & pens & stuff like that. I think if I lived somewhere like that, I might invest in those glasses where the lenses get dark when you go outside and get light again when you go in - but that only works if you wear prescription glasses. Hmmm.... Ok you've got me there!

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  13. Hi there, Cat! Your story is compelling. My version of simplicity is a bag that stays on my shoulder or has a cross-body strap. For work, I do use a shoulder bag, but try only to keep what I actively need in there -- my wallet and phone every day, but everything else on an as-needed basis. With twinfants, right now my shoulder bag is a double breast pump in a bag. Otherwise, it's a pretty leather bag that holds as much or as little as I need. On the go, it's a cross-body purse (nylon or leather, to suit my mood). I hate carrying things in my hand and I don't like to feel things in my pocket, so a purse is pleasant for me. Beyond that, I organize my life into mesh packets. I have one with business cards and my checkbook and a few pens. Another might have a few make-up items. Another gift cards or coupons or lists or what not. That way I can add or subtract as I need to easily for the day and things don't get jumbled. It works for me. I do agree limiting yourself to one credit card and debit card is a huge energy saver. I did that when I decided to pay off all of my CC debt in 2008 - it really helps track spending and with wallet size, too.

    Cheers!

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    1. Holy Moly... you sound so organized with your little mesh bags! I fear my only hope of any semblance of organization is to keep what a carry to a bare minimum, otherwise I'm totally sunk.

      You know... I had a bit of an epiphany the other day when I was hauling groceries in a reusable bag with a shoulder strap. I think part of why I hate shoulder straps so much is that they always get caught in my hair! Either that or the hair ends up creating a slide of sorts that makes it impossible to keep the thing on my shoulder!

      Anyhow, if I was dealing with "twinfants" I'd probably have to haul an entire trailer with me!

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  14. I did leave my purse behind in a donut shop one time. Fortunately, it was still there when I returned. It happened because I was an occasional purse carrier - so I wasn't used to having it with me all the time and therefore didn't miss it when it wasn't. After that, I always carried it with me. I've pared down quite a bit over the years and only carry a very small one that holds my phone and wallet with the basics. I also carry a "purse extender," that is a tote bag that my small bag fits into. This bag has things that aren't important but nice to have - sunglasses, mints, handkerchief, lip balm, ipod, etc. I don't carry it with me - just have it handy in the car or bring into the office since I don't have a permanent desk where I can stash things.

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    1. I think that's a great idea - to separate out the essential stuff from everything else. Much easier to keep track of that way.

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  15. A comment about women's clothes and pockets: my jeans have always had decent pockets. But non-denim is more hit and miss, I guess.

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    1. You mean, there are pants other than jeans? :-) Seriously, I think my purse-free lifestyle is partly made possible by the fact that I get to wear whatever I want. Although, when I was still working, I got good at choosing blazers with decent pockets to make up for anything lacking in the pants department!

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  16. I have been thinking of completely ditching the handbag for a while now and have been occassionally going out with just the essentials in my jacket pocket. It's so great to not have to lug around anything! But yikes, your story really makes me want to do away with the handbag now! Thanks for sharing your story!

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    1. Isn't it great not to have to carry anything? I'm not sure why, but it feels very freeing.

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