Friday, November 28, 2014

Seriously?

Well, today is the proverbial "Black Friday" here in the US... the supposed start of the Christmas shopping season. The blogosphere is full of posts about how to abstain, meanwhile, the airwaves are replete with ads for sales & the news is busy reporting about crowds and chaos.


And, I have to admit that my reaction to all this is mostly just one of bewilderment. I have such a hard time getting worked up about it - any aspect of it, because I honestly just have a really hard time believing that people actually do this sort of thing.


Perhaps I just live further on the fringes of society than I realize, but I simply can't imagine what would motivate someone to squander what, for most Americans is a rare day off from work, pushing their way through crowds at some retail establishment in the hopes of saving a few dollars on some stupid piece of junk that nobody really wants in the first place.

I mean, I can barely tolerate stores even at 10am on a workday when they're practically empty. I just cannot imagine subjecting myself to something like that.


Besides, by in large, I just can't imagine giving someone a gift that was purchased at a shopping mall. Really? Does anyone really want a new sweater, or electronic toy, or whatever other sort of schlock can be had at these places?

I mean... yes, one does need a certain amount of "stuff" to function in this society, but is that really something you want to give as a gift?


I dunno... call me a Grinch if you will, but I just can't get into the whole gift giving frenzy. Don't get me wrong... it's not that I don't buy a few things for the people in my life - but they're generally not the sort of thing one can get at a shopping mall. I guess I just figure that if the thing can be easily had at any retail outlet, then anyone who really wants it probably already has it.

I mean, there are exceptions of course, like getting someone something that they probably would enjoy and use, but would think was too extravagant to buy for themselves, but for the most part I think that this whole I'm gonna wander around the shopping mall until I find something that xyz person might like approach to gift giving just strikes me as completely bizarre. I dunno, somehow I guess I just think that a good gift should be a bit more personal than that.


So anyhow, I figured maybe we could all list some of our favorite gift giving and receiving experiences. Somehow I'm willing to bet that most of them didn't come from a day at the mall.

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OK... I'll start...

I think one of the most successful gifts I ever gave was the year I got CatMan an antique gold coin.


We'd read a fair number of historical accounts, and he always talked about how neat it must have been when people actually carried around gold in their pockets. We were also both coin collecting fanatics as kids, and he'd told me how he always had a fantasy about finding a gold coin with his metal detector. Anyhow, he totally loved it - I think I even saw a tear in his eye. And the bonus was that the price of gold skyrocketed shortly after I bought it so it's a gift that keeps on giving!

But a close second was the year I got CatMan an account on a mainframe computer so he could host a webpage. This was back in the 1990's when just getting on the internet was a pretty big deal, let alone having your own website.

This is what a modem used to look like "back in the day"

I knew he wanted to experiment with it all, but couldn't justify spending the money. He totally loved it!

My brother loves opera, so one year I got him a gift certificate for tickets to the National Opera (he lives near DC). He raved about the whole experience.


But special gifts don't have to be expensive. When I was a kid, I had a thing for stuffed animals. So one year my step-mom made me a stuffed elephant. To be sure, I already had a room full of stuffed animals, but that one was special because she had made it just for me. I think I slept with Elphie the elephant every night until I graduated from high school! (shhh... don't tell anyone)


And one year in college I had spent the summer with my dad & step-mom. Near the end of the summer Dad & I were waiting in the local Walgreens for some prescriptions to be filled. The store was full of back to school stuff and I remarked how I'd always wanted one of those big boxes of 64 crayons, but my mom would never let me have one because we already had a big box full of old crayons at home - never mind that they were all the same few colors over & over, and that they were mostly broken etc.

Anyhow, shortly after I returned to school that fall, a package arrived from my dad. At first I was horrified because my brother's birthday is in September and I thought he'd gotten the birthdays mixed up. But when I opened it I discovered a box of 64 crayons with a little note telling me how proud he was of everything I'd accomplished with only "broken & sub-standard tools." It still makes my cry thinking about it. And yes... I still have them.


And I think the best gift I ever gave my father was Christmas dinner the year his mother died, I prepared his favorite meal of gnocchi, just like Grandma had taught me to make it.


And the best gift CatMan ever got me was the time he snuck into my house when I was away (he has a key) and photographed my cats. He framed the photos for me and surprised me with them. I was beyond overjoyed.


So tell me, what are some of the best gifts you've ever given or received?








31 comments :

  1. First I want to say that it's fun to stock up on Sacagawea dollar coins before heading off to a Renaissance festival and to carry them in a drawstring bag hanging off my belt.

    Bleh, presents. I suck at giving people things they want, and I'm not a good enough consumer to properly appreciate things I get. But I still have stories.

    I once gave a new boyfriend "Purina Carl Chow" for his birthday. I knew he liked cookies, so I gave him those in a silly bag.

    Later that boyfriend gave me red long johns for a present. Those were not a favorite. But on the next giving occasion he knew me better and got me a nice dictionary which I still use today. Score!

    I once gave someone flowers made out of see-through plastic bags of different kinds of flour attached to wire stems wrapped with green florist tape.

    My mom once taped a bunch of HGTV shows on fixing up houses (like the one where neighbors work on one room of each other's houses), and she even stopped the recording when the commercials were on. Amazing! (I don't have cable.) My boyfriend later made us awesome bookshelves inspired by one of the projects in one of the shows, too.

    One more story: When I learned about Santa, I suddenly understood why Mom and Dad did not seem excited that Santa had come. Especially the year we woke them up gleefully at 6 am when they had just gotten to bed at 5 am after putting together two bicycles and two toyboxes. Yikes!

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    1. I LOVE the idea of showing up at the Renaissance festival with a sack of Sacagawea dollar coins... and taping all those shows for you sounds fabulous!

      I finally figured out about Santa the year we left cookies & milk out for him. A few of the cookies were gone, and about half of the glass of milk, but what gave it away was the lipstick on the glass! I figured either it was my mom or Santa was some sort of a cross-dresser! :-)

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    2. Heh! Well, Santa needs lip balm on a long, cold night, and one time they only had the colored kind?

      I actually asked my mom. When I was ten years old!

      Good question! I'm enjoying reading all these comments!

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    3. I can't remember the "Santa talk" with my mom, but I do remember asking her about God. Her response was "well, it's kinda like Santa Clause. It's not real, but the idea makes people feel better." Not sure why, but the comparison still cracks me up.

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  2. Ok, I did look at some ads and got excited about things like a 24 piece Pyrex set for $19 and a Dyson vacuum for $280...but I'm weird like that. And didn't care enough to actually go buy them.

    As for things I've received, my favorite by far is the year my hubby got a vasectomy for my birthday. It's the gift that purposefully does NOT give back ;) As for items growing up, I remember loving roller blades and a mini trampoline. That's about all I remember positively as I was known as the girl who cried and threw fits if she did not get the EXACT thing she wanted. I'm getting better, but still do get a little upset when I'm gifted crap I really hate/have no use for. I'm much more graceful on the exterior though ;)

    As for gifts I've given, I once surprised my hubby with a camping trip. He thought we were going to the store, but I had us all packed for a weekend in the mountains. For our boys, it has to be the 12' trampoline. It helps all of us day in and day out. For other family members, I really love giving experiential gifts. I like the thought that generally goes into them to make them special, like when my siblings and me (I?) send my dad on surprise getaways with random notes and directions and things hidden along the way.

    My hubby did not grow up in a creative gifting house, so I have a hard time when he puts little to no thought into gifts while my family puts an insane amount of thought.

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    1. OK... glad I wasn't drinking anything when I read this because the vasectomy gift would have had me spitting it all over the screen! That's fabulous!

      You know... it would just never occur to me to even look at any Black Friday ads. I mean, I can totally understand the appeal of Pyrex or a Dyson vacuum, but I would just go buy them for myself when I wanted/needed them. Because I KNOW that if I asked for them for Christmas, I'd get something close, but not quite right, and that would frustrate me beyond reason.

      I too have plenty of childhood disappointment memories. What always got to me was that I'd want certain things - a bicycle, a Gore-tex jacket... and inevitably my mother would buy the thing I wanted for my brother but not for me! AAAARRRGGGGHHH!

      Anyhow, the surprise camping trip and getaways sound like amazing gifts! Maybe your husband will catch on to the good gift giving thing as time goes on... the vasectomy is pretty good though... :-)

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  3. Oh wow! Eco Cat your gifts were beautiful. I almost teared up at the gnocchi one. And I'm dead impressed at such a thoughtful (and cool) gift as the gold coin.

    I think I suck at gift giving. I didn't come from a huge gift-giving family as a child and I'm still very low-key about gifts now, as an adult. But I love your ideas and might get some creative ideas from your list!

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    1. Ha! Well, my mother was big into gift giving - but of the worst variety. She had the "throw a lot of stuff at you" approach. So I guess some of my desire for meaningful gifts is a reaction to that. But in general I think that low key is good where gifts are concerned!

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  4. The one gift I remember was from my son. The backstory.... I was saving up for an embroidery machine, all my overtime money went into the fund, which was in reality our bank account, but I kept a little tally book.
    I am also a kitty mom, having 4 at this time and someone always had an abscess or illness and I mostly used my sewing machine savings for the costs
    Toby developed hyperthyroidism and after 2 years of meds he was still getting worse so I dipped into my savings for the $700 to pay for the Radioactive iodine treatment
    My son was asking me about it and I jokingly said "At this rate I'll never get my sewing machine"
    Christmas day he gives me a cardboard sewing machine made to look like the one I wanted, there were little flaps to lift up and they contained lots of sewing notions, I lifted up the last flap and in it was $700, I started to cry. Such thoughtfulness in that gift.

    Marieann

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    1. That is the sweetest story - from every possible angle. It brought tears to my eyes.

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  5. I am one of those people who not only looked at ads but did some shopping yesterday (first Black Friday trip in several years). I've gotten to the point where I really can't avoid purchasing new work clothes for much longer and I thought these would be the best buys of the season. I do so hate to overpay! I don't do waiting for hours in lines, or shopping at midnight or 5 am. I went out at 11 for a little while and got four shirts. Was it worth it? No, not really.

    I really hate the whole pressure of Christmas gift giving in the first place. I mean all the adults I know and buy gifts for really have everything they need and most of what they want. Some of them have so much their homes are bursting at the seams. So I find it quite difficult to think of a super meaningful, thoughtful present every year, heck twice a year if you count birthdays. And I'm not very crafty, etc. so the idea of making gifts fills me with hives. I really think at this point I'd be fine skipping it altogether and this year my family is cutting back quite a bit.

    We're not really the homemade gift type of people...although I would love the cat photos one. I think with friends, or co-workers or gifts you're not expecting any little thing can feel thoughtful and appreciated. But with the significant other, kids, parents, etc. there is a lot of pressure to go big. The gifts I enjoyed the most are, I hate to admit it, the expensive ones that I wouldn't have bought myself. The ipad mini and ipod (which is 6 years old and still going strong in my car) that I didn't need but end up using daily are some of the gifts I remember most. On the more creative front, my grandma and aunt really loved the personalized photo calendars I made them many moons ago that had pictures of our family, plus family birthdays and anniversaries throughout. And I vastly prefer the photo gifts of my nephew that my stepbrother and his wife give, rather than any store-bought trinket.

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    1. First of all, you are SOOO much braver than I am in terms of shopping. I think I might turn downright homicidal if I had to interact with so much humanity.

      Anyhow, I totally hear you in terms of how much work it takes to come up with meaningful gifts. If I can't come up with something good I generally go for food or gift cards - so much better than giving random schlock. Though one year when I was still running the music school I gave all of the teachers holiday themed pencils. That was a rip-roaring success because, believe it or not, pencils are a pretty hot commodity in a music school!

      And I don't think big is necessarily bad for special people - heck, CatMan gave me a tablet a few years back, and while it took me a while to warm up to it, I really do love it. Heck, I would never even have gotten a computer if he hadn't given me my first one waaaaay back in the early 1990's! I think those fall into the category of something that you would really enjoy & use, but would think was too extravagant to buy for yourself. I think one expensive and appreciated gift is infinitely more valuable than a pile of cheap crap.

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  6. We're going for experiential gifts this year -- taking an intro aerial arts class together.

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    1. Well, I've never heard of "aerial arts" - something like cirque du soleil? Well, whatever it is, I hope you enjoy it! :-)

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  7. I am very practical and come from a large family that did not give a lot of gifts (there just wasn't that much money). my family just loves getting together and sharing a meal and laughing - oh, do we laugh when we are together. My hubby grew up in a small family that was very gift-centered. it took 20 years to get them to realize that when i say i don't want anything, i TRULY don't want anything! i have whatever i need already. i also have a teenage son. he (and hubby) get the usual socks and underwear for Christmas (although this year, my son is getting American Eagle Boxers i bought on clearance for $3.99 ea. - a good price for them!). We usually give him one large gift (2 years ago it was an ipod touch) and just stocking stuffers. Also, instead of hubby and i giving gifts (or having our son buy some) we usually get one large family gift. could be a weekend away somewhere or something we need for the house. I love Christmas but not the 'have to purchase stuff so people have things to unwrap' mentality.

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    1. Love the idea of one big gift - both for your son & for the family. It just seems infinitely more meaningful than lots of stuff just for the sake of making the tree look "right"!

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  8. What a funny coincidence! I avoided Black Friday but saw my nephew earning a few bucks by putting some dimes in sleeves for my brother-in-law who just gave us and old GPS. I thought "I've got old liberty dimes to send him for Christmas!" It is better to know a person in order to know how to "gift" than to rely on advertisements or sales to determine what you "should" be giving. We really "needed" his old GPS and he'll appreciate our coins. No retail involved!

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    1. Sounds like you found the perfect gift! I love when that happens!

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  9. How cool is that old modem! I had no idea that's how it started out!

    I agree with you about Black Friday and gifts in general - I have way more stuff than I actually need, and it really bothers me when people buy cheap/junky things to randomly give as gifts (like a gift box full of $1 nail polishes. to me, someone who hasn't painted their nails in over 10 years. hmmm).

    Some of my favorite presents are tickets to a musical for my mom and her mom to enjoy together (they loved it), and a painting of a local hole in the wall place that my dad has been eating at since he was a little kid (he even hung it up in the kitchen). Food & alcohol are my go-to gift if I can't think of anything. I figure at least it will be consumed and not take up space for years!

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    1. Those sound like fabulous gifts - I mean, the ones you gave... not the nail polish. Did you commission the painting, or did you find it somewhere? And I am totally with you in terms of food & booze - because everybody likes to eat and drink!

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    2. My library hosted a craft/air fair of sorts on their lawn and this local painter had a stand there. I love when I stumble upon stuff like that :)

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    3. Synchronicity! I think it was meant to be...

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  10. I too avoid Black Friday shopping because the savings are not worth it to me to put up with the crowds. However, I do have friends that enjoy the excitement of both the crowds and a good deal. They wouldn't miss it. Also, I know people who save all year so they can afford a Black Friday deal. I know two people who saved all year to get a TV on Black Friday because they were an affordable price for them then. I'm glad there are people who will shop on Black Friday because it helps to keep our economy going.

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    1. Hmmm... well, I guess this is where my cynical attitude comes into play. If I was gonna save all year for a TV or something, I'd wait and buy it after the holidays are over, or when the new models have just come out, because I frankly just don't believe the hype that "Black Friday" is the cheapest time to buy.

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  11. Love the first picture and the caption!

    I typically avoid Black Friday because I hate crowds. However, there are some items that might be worth fighting the crowds for--electronics always seem to be more affordable, and in perusing the ads, footwear (shoes, boots ... ) was better priced than what I have typically found during regular sales.

    While I prefer to give gifts which are unique (I enjoy finding one-of-a-kind items in area boutiques or purchasing consumables for people who don't want "stuff"), sometimes what the recipient wants is ... mall stuff. And ... buying for kids is different from buying for adults--if they want a toy or video from a big box store, well, that's what I'll get them. Also, I use Christmas as a time to refurbish clothing supplies in my family--so my kids are getting a hat/gloves, a bathrobe/slippers, etc., as part of their Christmas gifts. And I got them ... yes ... at the mall.

    My overall feeling about gift giving and Black Friday shopping is similar to Live and Learn's--I avoid it most of the time, but I can see the appeal and there may be times when the only way you can afford an item is to purchase it on Black Friday. But if I can avoid the craziness and find something affordable and suitable when shopping isn't frenzied, you'd better bet that I'll do it!

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    1. You make a good point about kids. I know when I was young I wanted very specific stuff - and the brand name mattered to me a LOT. But I can't deny that it makes me really angry that kids have been so brainwashed by the mass marketing machine. Still, I think a child's feelings have to come before making a societal statement.

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  12. " I'm gonna wander around the shopping mall until I find something that xyz person might like " That's what I hate about gift giving at Christmas. It's so much nicer to give a gift spontaneously during the year just because you spotted something you thought one would enjoy rather than trying to find a gift because you are expected to give one on this day. I tend to put gifts away during the year when I see something and give them on Christmas but I so wish I could just give them to the person when I find them instead of "withholding" them for that one particular day when I'm supposed to give a gift.

    I have seen pictures of me with gifts my grandparents gave me when I was small, but I have no actual memories of any of them. The best gift I received was not on Christmas, but three days later on my birthday. Each year from high school until I was in my early 20s my grandmother would invite my closest friends and make me a meal with a cake made from scratch in place of gifts. But around the time she stopped doing the birthday dinner she began to give me one small gift each Christmas of a horse ornament for my tree knowing my connection to horses. These I cherished even though some were dollar store finds.

    The other gift that I received was three years ago. My two boys put their heads together and decided what I would really love would be a picture of their two families together. Living 120 miles apart they worked out a day around their different work schedules (not an easy task). What was extra special was that they somehow convinced the oldest two children who were three not to slip up and tell me they had seen their aunt, uncle and baby cousin until Christmas when they gave me the photographs.

    The best gift I ever gave? My son's father had to sell his guitar to pay off some bills. I stumbled upon a similar model (used) for a fraction of the prince and replaced it on Christmas. 18 years later upon his death I learned he still had it.

    The most loved gifts tend to be the ones I make. My granddaughter loves her hopscotch mat I made with a drop cloth and paint and another grandchild loves the pillow with a pocket to hold toys and snacks with a strap so she can carry it herself when traveling. She's been playing with that for the last three years and it's still in decent shape. My oldest son loved a cross stitch picture I made him of his favorite musician and mailed to him while he was stationed in the military along with a crocheted blanket for those cold winter nights.

    Anyway, none of the gifts that are loved and cherished by my family came from a store so Black Friday holds no interest in our family.

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    1. I LOVE all of your wonderful gift stories! Surprise photos are the best, aren't they? And the guitar one brought tears to my eyes.

      I totally agree about the timing of gift giving - it's sooo much nicer to be able to give someone a gift "just because". One year I gave CatMan a "Memorial Day present" just because I had found a special summer biking jacket on sale that he really needed, and I sure wasn't gonna wait until December to give it to him! I think this may be why he sometimes gives me Christmas gifts in October.

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    2. I love those surprise gifts in the middle of the year for no reason, they mean more.

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  13. I love the thought that went into giving you photographs of your cats :)

    I like giving photo gifts to people who have everything (if I know they will appreciate them). A few years ago I made my grandpa a calendar with family photos and my sister's boyfriend a mug with a picture of our dog on it. Both were fairly cheap and very well-received :)

    I do enjoy giving gifts, but like you, I don't wander around a mall looking for them. I usually don't have a lot of money, so I make a lot of gifts, but I do tailor them to the recipient.

    One of the best gifts I've ever received was flights home so that I could spend Christmas with my family. Last year I had trouble thinking of anything else I wanted, but eventually asked for a pair of headphones, which I use every day :)

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  14. I'm with you on the gift thing. It wasn't a gift just for me per say (I stress out when people give me gifts because its stuff I have to store or figure out how to get rid of it). But my husband grew a gargantuan sweet potato at his work garden. Its about 2 feet long and maybe a foot in circumference (they have rich soil at his job). I squealed like a stuck pig when he presented it. So overjoyed!

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