Thursday, January 30, 2014

Rest In Peace Sputnik VonWhiskars

On Tuesday I had to make the very hard decision to have my beloved cat Sputnik put to sleep.


Sputty (which, BTW is pronounced like "Puddy" as in "I tought I taw a Puddy Tat!") was diagnosed with a bladder tumor in December of 2012 and wasn't expected to make it more than a few weeks, but his indomitable little spirit carried him through for more than a year.

But it finally became apparent that the disease had gotten the better of him, and that any further attempts to prolong his life would only be prolonging his suffering, so I made the very difficult decision to let him go.

Sputnik was the most amazing little cat that I've ever known. I wish you all could have known him - though, truth be told he was pretty afraid of most people. Still, he was a very special little guy.

In the months before he officially adopted me, when he was still a wily alley cat, I watched him do some pretty amazing things.



The very first day I laid eyes on him, I saw him back away from a dish full of food so that a hungrier, more frightened cat could eat. I'd never seen a cat display such a selfless attitude.

He obviously hadn't had a lot of human contact, so it took weeks for him to let me touch him, but when I finally got brave enough to pick him up and put him in my lap he sat there purring for over an hour, and the only time he ever hissed or growled at me was because he didn't want me to put him down.

We soon developed a routine where he'd come by every night like clockwork for cuddles, playing and food - and that's how he got his name, because I had just seen the film "October Sky" where the main character watches the satellite Sputnik making it's nightly rounds.

I soon discovered that another lady in the neighborhood had been feeding him off and on for the past 3 years - although she'd never gotten close enough to touch him - and she called him Whiskars, hence the name Sputnik VonWhiskars was born.



I was getting pretty attached to him by this point, still, I had a pretty complicated kitty situation with two female cats who didn't get along well, and I was unsure about bringing another cat into the mix.

But Sputty was pretty persuasive. It got to the point where I had a hard time going back inside after feeding him because he would leave the food dish to run after me, and then would sit crying at the door wanting to come in. What a little heart breaker!

This is actually an indoor screen set up to keep Mow and Daisy separate - but that was Sputty's "Let Me In" look

One day my cat Daisy was pressed up against the glass of the basement window - which seemed odd and a little concerning to me, so I went to investigate, and there was Sputty, pressed up against the other side of the glass purring.

A few weeks later when my other cat Mow was recovering from surgery, Sputty sat outside the screen a few feet from her purring loudly to comfort her for 3 hours. And that was the clincher - from that point on, Sputty became a pampered indoor kitty.



Daisy was 16 pounds of unbridled energy, and Mow was only 8 pounds & not in the best of health, so Sputty became Mow's protector. When Daisy would start to pick on Mow he'd tackle her, bite her on the scruff of the neck and force her to back off.

Sputty with Mow a few days before she left us

But he loved Daisy too, and spent many hours cuddling with her and keeping her company when she had to be kept separated from the elderly and ailing Mow.

Sputty keeping Daisy company

After the girls left us, Sputty was an only cat for a number of years, but he just continued to amaze me with the things he'd do.

Head Cat In Charge
He had a basket for all of his toys, and when he wanted to play he'd dig through the basket and take out the toy that he wanted. But when he was done playing, he'd actually put the toy back in the basket. I couldn't believe it. Picking up after himself is certainly not a skill he inherited from me!

Sputty and his toy basket

So one year I decided to hand out small toys to trick-or-treaters in lieu of candy - an idea that went over like a fart in church with the kids BTW. I was concerned about getting something appropriate for the really young ones, so I got a dozen miniature teddy bears for the under 3 crowd.

I had everything set up in a box by the door on Halloween, but for some reason I only counted 9 teddy bears. Then I looked over and discovered that Sputty had "liberated" 3 of the bears and put them in his toy basket. Needless to say, I let him keep them.

Sputty on Halloween

One day I brought home some new lamps for the bedroom that were touch activated - you just touched the base of the lamp to turn them off and on. Within a few months, I was waking up in the middle of the night with the lights on.

At first I thought the lamps were malfunctioning, but soon realized that Sputty had figured out how to operate them. He'd sit there for hours delightedly turning the lights off and on. It was very cute, but not terribly conducive to sleep, so poor Sputty lost his favorite lamp toys.

Sputty looking up at his lamp toy

Sputty's reign as an only cat came to an abrupt end one summer night when he alerted me that something was amiss on the back deck. At first I figured it was just a passing stray or maybe a raccoon in the yard and ignored it, but Sputty was pretty insistent, so I went outside to check it out and discovered 2 tiny kittens on the back deck.

Smoky and Jasper the night they arrived

They had apparently been sealed into a cardboard box and left in the alley to die. They had managed to claw their way out of the box and for some reason they headed for my deck where Sputnik was looking out the screen door. I guess they knew he would take care of them.

Sputty with his Kittens
I quickly whisked them inside and soon Sputty had 2 little brothers to care for. And make no mistake, as far as he was concerned those were HIS kittens. As Smoky and Jasper grew, Sputty was their mentor and protector.

Teaching Jasper the fine art of bug watching
If he heard a threatening noise outside, he would grab them and pull them away from the window or door and stand guard until the threat had passed.

Ever-Protective Sputty with Smoky

Big Brother Sputty letting Jasper share his house

And then one day Smoky and Jasper found a live mouse. They were quite literally beside themselves with excitement, and I was in full-on "eek-a-mouse" freak-out mode.

But Sputty just sauntered over and was like, "Chill guys, I got this." In about 2 seconds flat, with seemingly no effort at all, he had the thing caught. But he didn't hurt it. He just held it in his mouth while I went and got a box, and then spit it out into the box so I could take it outside to free it.

Sputty with his boys

I could go on for days telling stories of my Sputter-Cat, but suffice it to say, he was one special little fellow and a one-of-a-kind character.





When he got sick, there were some people in my life who didn't quite understand why I would put everything on hold to provide round the clock hospice care for a cat.

All I can say is that Sputty wasn't just a cat. He was my best friend, my rain maker, my little bodhisattva (in Buddhist tradition a bodhisattva is a being who has attained enlightenment, but instead of entering Nirvana, chooses to stay and help others.) Sputty always took care of everyone around him, so the least I could do was to return the favor. And I am so grateful for the "bonus year" that I got to spend with him.

Enjoying a warm day during the winter of his "bonus year"

I want to say a special thanks for all of wonderful and supportive comments that y'all have left for me over the past year. Knowing that there were a lot of loving people out there who understood, and who didn't think I was just nuts for wanting to take care of my little friend made the whole situation much easier to bear.

I am left with such a mix of emotions... from the deepest of sadness and grief at losing him, to the utter relief of knowing that his long struggle is over. I have the definite feeling that a chapter in my life has closed, and part of me feels adrift in an ocean of empty time.

I'm sure a new chapter will open soon, but I will never, ever forget my beautiful, sweet Sputty-Cat, and I will always be grateful for the joy and light that he brought into my life. He gave so much more than he took.

Rest in peace my beautiful boy

64 comments :

  1. I cried while reading this post. I am so very sorry for your loss of such a sweet, beautiful friend. My heart goes out to you.

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    1. Thanks so much. I think I'm gonna be crying for a long, long time. Sigh.

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  2. I am so sorry. Mr. G and I really enjoyed looking through all the pictures and laughing at the things Sputty did. He reminds me of our kitty Capone. I'll be thinking about you.

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    1. He was quite the character, and it helps to be able to remember his funny antics instead of just thinking about the pain of losing him. Give Capone a big hug for me.

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  3. I am so sorry that Sputty is no longer with you. You wrote a lovely tribute to him. He indeed was a special kitty. Thanks for sharing him with us.

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    1. He was special indeed. Thanks so much for your support.

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  4. What a handsome special kitty. I'm so sorry for your loss.

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    1. Thanks Candi. I've been spending hours and hours looking through old photos of him... he was soooo beautiful. It helps to remember him that way rather than how he was at the end.

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  5. ALL of us cat owners are a little nuts when it comes to our beasties. That's a good thing. It means you have a big heart. And your Sputnik was a beauty with such an engaging personality.

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    1. Yup... no shortage of personality with that one. I'm so heartened to know that I'm not the only one who goes a bit overboard when it comes to caring for my fur babies.

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  6. My heart goes out to you. Thank you for sharing a little bit of wonderful Sputty with us. It's clear what a special relationship you had.

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    1. He was indeed wonderful. I feel a bit like I've lost a part of myself. I have to keep reminding myself that all things are temporary and that there will now be room for new relationships... but it's still just so hard to lose him.

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  7. Oh I am sorry you have lost him. He sounds like the cat of a lifetime. Isn't it amazing how some of the sweetest kitties become homeless through no fault of their own? The planets aligned for the two of you and I am glad you had your time with him.

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    1. I know... I just always wished he could tell me his story. How did he come to be roaming the streets? Did he have a family at some point?We don't even know how old he was, but he was at least 16 - probably a bit older. I guess I just have to be grateful that the planets did align for us.

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  8. What a beautiful boy he was! I have had to say goodbye to special cat friends in the past...it's horrible and it's so sad watching them in those last months. You have some lovely memories of him to treasure.
    Dianne

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    1. Thanks so much. I know what you mean about those last months. It's so hard to watch them go downhill and to be powerless to stop it. And yet, I wouldn't trade a single minute I had with him. But it somehow helps to look at pictures and remember him during happier times. It also helps to confirm that it was indeed time to let him go. I sure hope that wherever he is, he has left all of the pain, struggle and suffering behind.

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  9. So sorry for your loss. He sounds like he was an amazing boy- I particularly love the story about tidying his toys away! You have some lovely photos and memories of him.

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    1. I still just can't believe he did that. The little teddy bears are still sitting there in his toy basket. It's funny though, because as he got sicker he got to the point where anything that got left out on the floor got peed on. So I guess in the end he was helping to teach me a bit about tidiness too! :-)

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  10. I am so very sorry for your loss of a "very" special kitty. Thank you for sharing photos and the story of his life.
    I know how hard it is to make the decision to go over the bridge. I lost a special kitty about 3 weeks ago, and am losing another very old, special kitty now, but the decision to let them go is the love that you have for Sputnik.

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    1. Oh, I am so, sooo sorry. I can't imagine losing two so close together. Hopefully, they will be able to help each other on their journey.

      As I was out in the backyard digging Sputty's grave I looked up and saw a big, fluffy orange cat. He looked at me as if to say "I heard there was a vacancy?" And I could feel myself starting to go down that slippery slope... there are just so many precious ones with no home, it kills me. I am so impressed by people like you who take on so many - I just don't think I have the emotional fortitude for it.

      Please know that I'm thinking about you during this difficult time.

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  11. What an amazing cat! I just told my cat, Pebble, about how he took the mouse outside. She didn't believe me.

    That is a beautiful obituary to a very special friend.

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    1. I thought the mouse thing was pretty amazing too. Such a gentle little soul my Sputty was.

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  12. I am so sorry for your loss but thank you for sharing his life with us. I'm sitting at work trying not to cry and being very thankful for my own cat. In fact, he will be getting extra cuddles tonight.
    I'm sure Sputnik and you will be reunited some day and at the moment he will still be around you somehow.
    big hugs to you
    Ax

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    1. Thank you so much. My three remaining kitties have been getting lots of extra cuddles over the past few days, so give your kitty one for me.

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  13. Hi Cat, what a remarkable cat you had! And you were such a loving caregiver; he was lucky indeed.

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    1. Actually, I think I was the lucky one! He was quite a remarkable little guy.

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  14. What a lovely tribute to a beautiful kitty. He knew he was loved.
    I am so sorry for your loss
    Marie

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    1. Thanks Marie. I think one of the hardest parts about having to have him put to sleep was my fear that he would feel somehow betrayed. But the day that it happened, I had rushed him to the vet in the morning and we had tried a few last ditch things... but within half an hour of getting him home from the vet he went back into the carrying case and curled up in the back of it... and Sputty NEVER went into the carrying case willingly. I think that was his way of telling me that it was time. I sure hope he knows that everything I did was done out of love for him.

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  15. Amazing cat. I love the heart he had, protecting and mentoring the others. I'm so sorry he's gone, but thank you for this post. It got a little dusty in my office when reading it.

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    1. Thanks so much. He was definitely a big-hearted fellow if ever there was one. I look back on all those stories and it still amazes me how he took care of everybody around him.

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  16. What a beautiful tribute. He does indeed sound like a very special cat.

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    1. He was indeed a special boy... my big ol' lug cat. He will be sorely missed.

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  17. Such incredible memories, so beautifully told. I really felt like I got to know Sputty. I'm so sorry he's gone. October Sky is one of my favorite movies and I'll know I'll be thinking of these wonderful stories when I watch it.

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    1. I'm glad someone else shares my fondness for that film. Not sure I'll be able to watch it for a long time though... at least not without crying. I can just see trying to explain that one - "but why does a Russian satellite make you cry?" I sure miss my sweet Sputty cat.

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  18. Cat, I am so sorry Sputty's illness progressed to this point of forcing you to make that decision. He was one smart kitty, to pick up after himself and to be a protector of the smaller and weaker would have stolen my heart too.

    You had such a hard year in 2013 I was hoping this would be a year of smooth sailing for you. How awful it is that 2014 started with losing Sputty.

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    1. Thanks Lois. He certainly did steal my heart... and I think there's a part of it (my heart, that is) that went with him.

      2013 certainly did live up to it's "13" status. In a certain sense, I'm sort of counting this loss as carryover from last year. I mean, as much as I really, REALLY didn't want him to go, it was inevitable - he was on borrowed time. And even though I'd give anything to have him back, there is a part of me that's looking forward to having a more "normal" life again. Heavy sighs all around.

      Maybe my turnaround can start on Sunday. A Superbowl win would certainly boost my spirits. :-)

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  19. I bawled like a baby in the college library while reading this. I know exactly how hard and how awful it is to make that decision, but I do know that it will get easier in time and at least the little beauty is no longer suffering. I'm so very sorry for your loss, Cat. Some people don't understand how others can get so upset about the loss of a pet, but I remind myself that these people obviously never felt the deepest connection possible with their loved ones. Your tribute was absolutely beautiful and I hope you're able to take some solace that he is now free from pain. Thinking of you at this difficult time.

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    1. Thanks so much for your support. You know, for over a year I was absolutely dreading having to make that horrible decision, but when the time finally came, it was pretty clear than it was the compassionate thing to do. And remarkably enough, even some of the people in my family who sorta had the "oh, just put the damned cat to sleep already" attitude have been unexpectedly kind and supportive. Maybe they just needed to be able to see Sputty through my eyes.

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  20. I am so sorry to hear this news. When I think of Sputnik I think of his more recent medical needs so how lovely to hear his life story. What an amazing cat and what a great tribute to him you've written there. As someone who never ever thought they would own cats, I now adore my two black and white girls, and I totally get your bodhisattva reference - I often think of mine as gurus, as they seem so wise and have such wonderful qualities. Anyway, what I wanted to say is that I don't think that I'd have allowed myself to be persuaded by my kids that we 'needed' one let alone two cats if it wasn't for reading your blog and Live and Learn's. Thank you and thank you Sputnik.

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    1. Awww... what a sweet comment. Just knowing that Sputty might have played some small part in two kitties getting a loving home makes me feel tremendously heartened. I hope your fur babies bring you many happy years... I think they have so much to teach us if we're just open to their wisdom.

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  21. I've been putting off reading this because I knew I would cry! I didn't even know Sputty, but I seriously loved him. You could see in his pictures that he was special and unique...it's in the eyes. (Yes, I am weird about cats and gauging them off pictures). Seriously, you could just tell.

    Anyhow, I'm immensely grateful you shared his story with us and immensely sorry for your loss. I completely get it. Having lost a very special cat two years ago, I know that he'll always be with you. Hugs to you a million times over! Rest well, dear Sputty! You are missed!

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    1. Sputty did indeed have that "special something." It was pretty hard not to fall in love with him. CatMan and I have been looking at old photos, and the one thing we keep remarking on is his eyes. Such a one of a kind little guy he was.

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  22. Well like the others have said before me, this brought tears to my eyes - what a lovely tribute! I am so sorry for your loss of such a wonderful cat and friend. I am especially fond of tuxedo/ black and white cats. I am privileged to have one of my own - he is my beloved Spencer and he is 15 years old. My heart constricted in thinking about losing him, there will be such a hole in my heart when he leaves me. I keep telling him he is sticking around for 19 years ;) Like you, I will do just about anything for him, but I will not prolong his life when he is suffering and will make the hard decision, as you had to do, when the time comes for his best interest and not mine. Hang in there!

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    1. Thanks Lisa, I think one of the most difficult things for me over the past year or so was the struggle to stay in the moment. I mean, I knew the loss was coming, but I didn't want to let the weight of that knowledge keep me from enjoying what time we had left. I think we have to let them guide us in that respect - because they're always in the moment. Sending you and Spencer a big virtual hug.

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  23. I am so sorry about Sputnik. I truly feel your pain. My little Carmen was just diagnosed with a cancerous tumor in her nasal cavity and I am struggling with what to do for her. Making these types of decisions are horrible. I, too am so sad.

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    1. I'm so, so sorry to hear about little Carmen. It's just so hard to know what the right thing to do is. Ultimately, I just had to listen to Sputty and let him tell me what he needed. So trust yourself, and trust your little Carmen to guide you. Sending much love your way...

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  24. Oh, I'm so sad to read this :( When I read the first line, I said "O nein!" aloud. He was a great kitty and friend to you and I'm so sorry for your loss :(

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    1. Thanks so much. He was indeed my sweet little friend.

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  25. So sorry to hear about Sputty :( He was a beautiful cat and his personality shines through in the photos and stories. I especially like the one of him and HIS kittens.

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    1. Thanks Liz. He was pretty amazing with his little brothers. You know, the past few years were difficult because even before I knew that Sputty was sick, he'd been having conflict with Smoky. Smoky would try to play with him and just follow him around, but Sputty would growl and hiss. I think he just didn't feel well, and probably felt vulnerable since Smoky is now a big strong fellow himself.

      So it came as a great surprise to me that the one who is taking the loss the hardest is Smoky. He's been wandering around the house crying, and going to all of Sputty's favorite places. He's been curled up on an old quilt that Sputty used to sleep on and just seems lost without his big brother.

      I guess it makes me see Smoky's "pestering" of Sputty in a different light. He wasn't trying to make trouble, he just wanted to be close to his big brother.

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  26. I am so sorry you lost your sweet, beautiful cat. Thank you for your wonderful Sputty stories. I had to go hug my kitties after I first read this.

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    1. My three remaining fur babies have been getting plenty of extra kisses these days too. I think we just have to fill them with as much love as we can while we've got them.

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  27. What a lovely tribute to a very special fur-person - thank you for sharing his and your story. I will go home and make a little extra fuss of my own current solo house cat...

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    1. Thanks Jane. I think they deserve all the fuss we can give them, so give your little fur-person a big smooch from me.

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  28. A beautiful tribute to a remarkable cat. I have just found your blog and as I´m another cat lover - owned by three adorable moggies - I have already added it in my blogroll.

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    1. Thanks Gen. He certainly was a remarkable cat, and it's so true... we don't own them, they own us!

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  29. What a beautiful story of his life. I felt like it was a gift to be allowed to read it. I'm so sorry you lost him. I understand what you mean about feeling like a chapter of your life has closed. I'm glad you wrote it down here, and took so many photos, so you can at least read that chapter over and over again.

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    1. I'm sure you do understand about the chapter closing part. I'm just so sorry about Ivan, and I could totally relate to your statement about not being sure you want to have another very special cat... it's just so hard to lose them. Big hugs to you...

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  30. Hi Cat, I am so so sorry to hear about Sputty's passing. I am crying so hard..I can't see the letters. It is difficult for other people to understand why you do so much for your kitties...but I do because I did the same for my kitty too. The vet had botched up her spaying operation and stitched her up with some material which reacted with her skin and her sutures used to open up every 3-4 days..this happened 3times and then I changed the vet..by then her wound had become so big ..it was really horrible those 2 months..I made her better.i spent a lot..but it doesn't matter.i love my two cats..so I know how you feel.you have so many beautiful memories of him,.it will get better with time..please take care..love and hugs
    Radha

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    1. Thanks so much for your sweet comment. I'm so glad your kitty was able to recover. I feel so fortunate to have had such a great vet throughout this whole process, and I'm glad you finally found a better one. It's getting a little easier every day as I get past the trauma of losing him. Now it's just the emptiness of not having him. Sigh.

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  31. I've just found your blog by linking from a comment you left elsewhere and am sitting with tears in my eyes. What a wonderful cat Sputty obviously was and I've loved reading about his exploits. They really do capture a chunk of your heart and keep it forever. Wishing you much comfort and that Sputty sends you your next cat.

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    1. Awww... thanks so much. You know, there were many moments during his illness that I thought to myself "I am NEVER going through this again... I'm never ever getting another pet, and just hoping I live through losing the ones I've got!"

      Of course, that feeling didn't last. When I was out in the backyard digging a hole to bury him, a big fluffy orange cat wandered into the yard and sorta looked at me as if to say "I heard there as a vacancy here?" My first thought was "Oh, he's so beautiful... I hope he has a home..." Then I thought... "what are you, crazy?!? the body's not even cold yet!"

      Anyhow, I'm sure the Cat Fairy will send me more when the time is right, and maybe Sputty will have a little something to do with it somehow, some way.

      Thanks so much for coming to visit my little corner of the blogosphere.

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  32. Cat,
    I am so sorry about your loss. It was a painful decision, I am sure. May your grief be lessened by the memories you hold close. Again, I'm so sad for you.
    x Lili

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    1. Thanks so much Lili. I know with time I'll come to a place where I can remember him... instead of just remembering losing him. Not quite there yet, but slowly, slowly... Thanks again for your support.

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