Friday, May 3, 2013

Getting Real about Just-in-Case Fashion

I'm not really into fashion.


I'm pretty much a T-shirt and jeans kind of a girl. I've shopped almost exclusively at thrift stores my entire adult life, I try to clean out the closet regularly, and try to buy things only when I really need them.

Even so, it's remarkable how much clothing I have accumulated over the years.


So, I got inspired by this post over at An Exacting Life, and decided that it was time for another clothing purge.

The first thing I decided to tackle was the pile of "nice dresses" that I've been hanging onto "just in case."


The sad truth is that I've NEVER worn any of these things. I'm not really even sure why I bought them. Most of them were acquired shortly after I quit my job about 6 years ago. I was making more money than ever before or since (as in, I actually made above the median income for a few years) and I had just turned 40. I guess it was a bit of a midlife crisis.


Anyhow, as I was thinking about those dresses lurking in the back of my closet, I started to ponder an interesting question. Supposedly I'm hanging onto this stuff "just in case" I need them. But just in case I need them for what, exactly?


So I made a pact with myself. I tried each one on, and if I could think of an occasion that genuinely has a reasonable chance of occurring, when I might actually wear said item, I could keep it, otherwise out it went.


So here's what didn't make the cut. Seriously, I just don't have a dress-up life... so when would I possibly wear these things?

An afternoon at the Polo Club?

Dinner at a 5-Star Restaurant? Seriously, I can't even imagine cramming my Birkenstock feet into the shoes I'd need to pull this one off!

Ummm.... Amish Funeral?

For the day I wake up and decide I love my hips?

Just in case I time travel back to the 1940's?

Wait, wait... I know... this one is for the day I wake up to discover that I'm 18 again, I love my thighs, and I've had a complete and total personality transplant! Hey... it could happen!

Oy Vey!


Here's the thing. It's not like there's any shortage of clothing out there. I mean, if my life suddenly decides to cough up an occasion that requires some sort of clothing that I don't currently own, I can always go out and get something that is both appropriate for the situation and suits my current body and tastes.


In the meantime, I'm content to donate these all back to the thrift store from whence they came, with the earnest hope that they will all find good homes with people who will love and WEAR them!


So how about you? Is anybody else out there holding onto clothing that just doesn't have a place in your real life?






47 comments :

  1. I love the Amish funeral one and the 1940's style one. If I was much smaller and taller that's the kind of thing I'd wear. I agree with the need to clean out old clothes though, I still have jeans from 10 years ago that I hope to fit into again some day, and a lovely tapestry skirt that wouldn't fit a 20 yr old me. I think I hold on to these things because they represent a hope that I can return to my younger self.

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    1. I actually like that style too... the high waistline and flared skirt are very flattering - they hide a multitude of tummy and thigh "imperfections." I just don't have anyplace to wear them!

      I can totally relate to the desire to return to a younger self... well sorta... in reality my younger self was plagued with eating disorder and body image problems, so it wasn't actually anything I'd like to re-live. I think what I'd really like is to be able to take my current attitude and lifestyle back to a younger day but alas, it doesn't work that way!

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  2. I'm coming out of hiding to say, damn, Cat, you look amazing!

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    1. Just what I was thinking!

      Also, love that the kitties are sneaking into the background, coz it should be all about them!

      I'm pretty ruthless with clothes, although I do have a floor length ball gown lurking that I have not worn for years. Although, with a boyfriend and a brother in the Navy, formal balls are actually a possibility!

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    2. Awwww, y'all are so sweet.

      Personally, I think the litter box in the background really adds that certain "je ne sais quoi!"

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    3. No room is complete without cat litter! (At least, that's what my cats seem to think, as they kick it out of the tray and around the house...)

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    4. Ain't it the truth! I actually really, REALLY didn't want to have to resort to an upstairs litter box, I especially hate getting litter stuck on my feet getting in and out of the tub. But with little Sputnik's bladder problems, it was really the only way. Sigh.

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    5. And Megyn... It is SOOO GOOOD to hear from you! I've been a bit worried actually. I hope everything is OK and that you're adjusting to life in Austin. Would love to hear an update... :-)

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  3. I agree with the people above. You look pretty darn good in those dresses.

    I have slowly learned not to keep what I don't wear (mostly). However, I have not replaced any of it because I hate to go shopping. So, when I need a dress or some such thing, I don't have anything. I wish I had a stylist like the stars do--someone to figure out what looks good on me and will do the shopping and just bring it to me.

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    1. Thanks so much, you guys are doing wonders for my self-esteem!

      I actually did keep a few dresses, not that I've worn them either. But they were things I felt much more comfortable in, and that I could actually picture myself wearing should the right occasion present itself.

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  4. You look great! I get that with clothes though, I have found them to be the hardest thing to get rid of, although I've been doing much better and since I only wear dresses, that's all I have and I wear everything in my wardrobe. Quite proud of that. :) Now if I could just get my mother to remove the things she doesn't wear, which is about 90% of her wardrobe!

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    1. Gosh... you and I are sorta like wardrobe opposites! The thing with dresses is that I've never figured out how to deal with the shoes and the cold legs. Plus they don't work too well for riding bikes and digging in the garden!

      I think what really matters is that everybody has clothes that fit their lifestyle and personality. Sounds like you're doing better on that front than most of us! :-)

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    2. I'm a tights girl! We don't get hot weather in Ireland like ever, so I wear thick black tights year round. I don't even own a pair of sandals - I'd freeze to death! Plus I live in the city centre and I can walk everywhere. So dresses just work for me. The only reason I started wearing dresses though was because I was sick of pulling up my jeans! Small waist and big thighs has to be the worst combination, there is no belt in the world equipped for that!

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    3. Tights... yup, I've got a drawer full of those that have never been worn either! Oh well.. as Popeye says, I am what I am what I am...

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    4. I'm a dress only girl too (well, other than some stretchy jegging things which I bought, which are not as good as leggings, and way more annoying to wear!)

      Dresses and leggings do fine for most of my activities...for horse riding/yoga/other active pursuits I have trousers, but of the comfortable elastic sort!

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    5. Gosh! I'm sort of wondering if this is an "across the pond" sort of thing. I really can't imagine wearing a dress every day! But since I never wore them as a child, maybe I just never learned how.

      What do you do for shoes? I think that's part of the conundrum for me. The only shoes that are dress appropriate are gawd awful uncomfortable! Do you actually wear dress shoes every day? My feet hurt just thinking about it!

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    6. I wear mine with boots in winter, or ballet pumps/ sandals in summer...never heels though, as I can't be bothered with the foot pain!

      Something like option two on here: http://www.goop.com/journal/get/3/my-uniform

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    7. Definitely not an across-the-pond thing though, I'm the only one of my friends, family and acquaintances that wears dresses only. Just a personal choice really.

      I live in TOMs. I'm a very casual person so these shoes work perfectly for me. Plus I have very sensitive feet so I need to be careful. I don't own a single pair of heels. I'm so bad, I'd even wear TOMs to a fancy party! And when it's winter I'm usually in boots. TOMs aren't the best when it's raining, which is all the freaking time in Ireland, but I manage quite well with just them and my boots!

      You'd be surprised how well you'd cope if all you had to wear were dresses. And this is coming from a former jeans-only kind of girl!

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    8. Hmmmm... very interesting guys. I'm not gonna hold my breath on converting to a dress wearer, but knowing that it can be done without causing severe foot pain is certainly a bonus!

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  5. The sad thing is that occasions tend to present themselves suddenly--weddings, funerals, company Christmas parties (requiring a cocktail dress or equivalent), third or even fifth interviews (wha?). So I think it's good to keep one of everything if you have something that fits and is likeable, just in case. (And to remember that you can put blazers over dresses for additional interviews.)

    I have been keeping a lot of dresses in case I end up in some job where that is required, but since I'm about to be done working forever (according to the plan, anyway), and I have no intention to move away from my super casual city, it's probably safe to let those go.

    Also, I've learned that just because you've replaced something with a supposedly better thing doesn't mean the new thing is actually better, so I give myself a trial period before getting rid of the old thing. But I did finally get rid of my old warm coat and my old trench coat.

    My friends have a lot of costume parties, so I do actually have a use for many of the oddball things I have. And I'm saving clothes that fit when I'm my ideal weight (it's a lot harder to get clothes that fit when I'm that size) and some other things that I like but that don't go with anything (fun to go shopping in the garage when I get new shorts and see what I have that goes with them!).

    Thanks for sharing your fun reject pictures! I may have to re-think maxi dresses now that I've seen your curvy-hips dress. Yowza!

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    1. OK... first of all, I had to Google "maxi dresses" to figure out what you were talking about. This refers to the length... yes?

      Anyhow, I think there's a distinct advantage to having a social circle full of hippies, rock climbers, cyclists, musicians and other societal subversives, where jeans and a t-shirt (or a fleece in the winter time) are perfectly acceptable for all occasions - weddings, funerals, parties, you name it. In fact, that's part of the problem with me and fancy clothes, if I showed up at a social gathering with pretty much anybody I know wearing anything from the collection above I'd get laughed out of the room!

      That being said... I did keep 4 dresses - things that feel more "me" yet are still dressy enough that I could wear them out to dinner if my long lost rich uncle (and I really DO Have a long lost rich uncle) decides to show up one day and take me out to dinner to bequeath me his fortune. :-)

      And gawd willing, the days of job interviews (and jobs) are behind me for good!

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    2. Yes, I meant ankle-length.

      Yea social subversives! Some of my social subversive friends like to dress up occasionally, though. Hmm, and we don't get laughed out of the room for overdressing--both overdressing and underdressing are allowed equally; we just usually choose underdressing.

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    3. Well... I have a hunch that the fear of getting laughed out of the room might have more to do with my own uncomfortableness with fancy clothes than it does with the rules of my social circle!

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    4. Aw! Well, glad you get to live someplace where you get to dress comfortably!

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  6. Seriously, are you trying to make us have bad body self-esteem?
    Personally, I would have decided to keep number one and the last one. No. I could totally see wearing on a hot summer evening with a tall cold glass of iced tea. And I love the last one for a date night. As for the Amish funeral one -- I would find myself tempted to keep it. I actually seem to have a lot of funerals to attend.

    So, now the burning question, if this is what you don't like, what did you decide to keep?

    I have 1 dress to my name, and I don't like it on me. But I keep it "in case" I need a dress for something. I wear slacks more for "good" occasions. But I have a wedding to go to in September and I'm thinking I need a dress. My one dress is a long-sleeved knit dress, and I think I'd be dying from heat exhaustion in early September in that one. Oh how I hate trying on clothes!

    I spent several hours the other afternoon trying on casual pants. I looked bloated and fat in all but one pair. That sure did jump-start my diet!

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    1. Ha! Maybe I'll have to do another fashion show with the four "keepers." Though, to tell the truth, it's really difficult to get a decent picture of yourself in the bathroom mirror! I decided to cut off the heads not only because I hate the way I look in photos, but because I had such a look of complete consternation on my face in each photo as I struggled to get myself in focus and in the frame!

      And I actually do like all of these dresses, or they never would have come home with me in the first place. They're just not life and personality appropriate! I think if they were cotton or some other natural fabric, I might have been more tempted to try to convert them for day to day use... but I can't see hanging out in rayon unless it's absolutely necessary!

      Anyhow, good luck trying to find something to wear to the wedding. I generally boycott weddings because it's just so depressing to watch people pour half of their life's savings into a big whoop-de-doo shindig where everything has to be "just so" because they are professing their undying love for each other... and then a few years later you have to endure the bickering and hostility as they go through a nasty divorce and custody battle. Who me... cynical?

      I guess over the years I've discovered that there seems to be an inverse relationship between the fanciness of the ceremony and the longevity of the relationship. The happiest couples I know got married before a justice of the peace without telling a soul until the deed was done!

      Anyhow, good luck finding an appropriate outfit. My advice is to put your own comfort number one on the priority list, because if you feel awkward in it, it's not gonna look good no matter how fancy it may be!

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    2. Haha, love your cynical wedding description! (Although the people I know that have spent extravagant amounts of money on a weeding haven't got divorced...)
      I don't see the point of all the expense and hassle- if I get married, I'd like to have a party, but of the buffet and disco variety- I don't want to spend any of my life making seating plans or worrying about table cloths! Or running up a huge debt that takes years to pay off..

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    3. Oh, CatMan tells great stories about watching all of his childhood friends get married, and then watching them all go through misery and agony as they got divorced and their crazy ex-wives made off with every cent they never made and then some!

      I think my favorite was his friend Steve... his soon-to-be ex-wife converted to some sort of crazy religious cult about a day or two before the wedding. She then proceeded to divorce him on religious grounds and somehow managed to get not only his house, but his entire life's savings, a property that his recently deceased parents had left to him, and a hefty alimony payment!

      Up until that point, CatMan (who used to make handcrafted silver jewelry) had made beautiful silver wedding bands for many of his friends. But after that, he just couldn't stomach it anymore!

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    4. Wow, poor Steve! Luckily, I don't think any of my friends have married or are sting total crazies...there is still time though!

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    5. Here's hoping your friends make better decisions in that department than many of mine have! :-)

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  7. haha - I love the fashion show! You look great :) I actually own an Amish funeral dress myself (the sleeves are a little shorter) and I love it. Dresses are my best friend during hectic mornings because I don't have to worry about matching anything - just put on the dress, ballet flats, and go!

    And I'm glad you brought this up because it's been a while since I last cleaned out my closet. I keep a pretty tight ship (one in, one out) . . but I know once I start looking through stuff, I'll find plenty more that I can donate.

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    1. I almost kept that one, but what you can't see from the angle of the shot is that it's very clingy in the tummy area which made me feel a bit self conscious.

      Anyhow, I think my solution to the hectic morning problem was to quit my job and become a total recluse! :-)

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  8. Thanks for the linky! You look great in all those dresses you don't like, so of course I too would like to see the ones you did keep! I am down to 3 dresses: two cocktail dresses bought foe summer weddings (still "au courant") and 1 sundress I bought on a whim - what was I thinking?!

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    1. Well, thanks for the inspiration!

      You know, it's sorta funny - with one notable exception, I'm not really sure that I actually "like" the ones I kept so much better than these... I just feel more comfortable in them, and figure that means there's a better chance that I'd actually wear one someday. Of course, this remains to be seen...

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  9. This is where I sorta don't fit in with frugal-types--I love clothes and I love shopping for them. I DO shop clearance for them just to, you know, justify everything. Anyway, you pull off a dress very well. I agree with one of the above commenters--in winter, tights and (flat) boots are great with dresses, especially knit dresses (or even leggings and boots). You appear to be pale skinned, like me ... I find that, in summer, Jergen's self-tanning lotion makes my legs look less corpse-like (never a *hot* look) and either flat sandals or wedge sandals are a comfortable solution.

    I also find it's helpful to keep a few "just in case" clothes around for weddings/funerals/occasional dressy social occasions. But really, it does depend a lot on where you live and who you hang around with. The Amish dress? Perfect around my mother-in-law--but she would have less appreciation for my knit dresses with leggings and boots.

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    1. "you appear to be pale skinned..." Ha! Fish-belly white is more like it! Oh the curse of being a redhead. It gets even more interesting in the summer after I manage to burn myself a few times - even though each year I SWEAR that I'm gonna do a better job remembering the sunscreen. Sigh.

      Anyhow, my next post will be about the few dresses that I did decide to keep. I'll be eager to get your shoe recommendations for them!

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    2. I just put on sunscreen after every shower, summer or winter. I use CVS brand fake Oil of Olay on my face and KINeSYS spray sunscreen (available at Whole Earth Provision or online). The latter used to be considered one of the least poisonous sunscreens, but it no longer makes the list because you might breath it in. So now I do my legs first, then hold my breath while I spray my arms and then leave the room to rub it into my arms. The spray is SO MUCH FASTER than lotions that I actually use it.

      Of course this won't make up for getting a sunburn every single day of every single summer in my childhood, but there's no point in adding more damage.

      Warning: My first annual physical after I started using sunscreen all the time, I was diagnosed with a Vitamin D deficiency. They made me take pricy super supplements for a month. Now I just take 1000 I.U. of D-3 a day. (Actually 2000 I.U. of Kirkland's D-3 every other day. Costco had a huge bottle that is lasting me forever!) And my last physicals have been fine.

      Anyway, I'm hereby warning you that summer is starting! And you have sworn! And so you must remember now!

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    3. Oooo... thanks for the tip on the Provision. I think part of my issue is that I do have fear of sunscreen being a bit toxic. Plus, anything on my skin inevitably ends up getting licked by one of the cats, and I have fears of poisoning them with sunscreen.

      My usual tactic is to take a PABA supplement and wear a big floppy hat. Of course, this doesn't cut it when I'm on the bike, so I always slather before I ride... but then I wash it off as soon as I get home.

      That's very interesting about the vitamin D thing too. I take 1000 iu of D-3 per day... did they actually do a blood test to diagnose the deficiency?

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    4. "Provision"? Oh, Whole Earth Provision Co.

      I can't remember where I found the safety information, but I'm pretty sure they were just concerned about absorption through skin rather than licking by cats (where are their priorities?). But, surely the two are correlated--you may as well be slathering on the safer stuff.

      I've never heard of PABA supplements. Fascinating.

      Yes, it was part of the blood test. You can ask your doctor to send you a copy of your results. They may make you sign a release form to allow them to send away your privacy-protected records to your own self, so I've learned to just make the request as I'm checking in for my appointment. On the phone they only tell me whatever's bad and, I assume, whatever commonly goes wrong for Americans (cholesterol levels and such).

      I like looking at my own records because doctors may only care whether the results are within the normal range, but I like to see whether there is a trend of moving closer to the bad range and whether the measurements are all over the place so a slightly out-of-range measurement one year might not be cause for alarm.

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    5. Ha! They make you sign a release to send you your own records... how crazy is that!

      Anyhow, I have Kaiser, and I generally get all my test results by email, but I don't think vitamin D has ever been one of the things they test for. I'll have to ask about it at my next physical.

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    6. p.s. guess I should have looked at the name of that sunscreen a bit closer. Somehow my brain red that as Provision brand from Whole Foods. See why college was a nightmare for me? :-)

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  10. Hey, wow! What a figure you have! You can wear any of these dresses! If it were me, I think I would shorten the polo one and and wear it with a colourful cardigan or a knitted one? You could think about shortening the amish one and the "hips" one maybe.. you so have the legs to pull it off anyway! But what can I say I have two skirts of which I wear one and two dresses of which I wear neither :S

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    1. Ha! Y'all are gonna give me a swollen head with the compliments. Actually, they're really appreciated right about now, because not being able to ride my usual 100 miles per week has taken a bit of a toll on both my tummy and my confidence.

      Anyhow, you obviously have more sewing skills than I do! I'm actually coming to the conclusion that it's probably better to just go get a few things that really suit me than it is to try to salvage the ones that don't. I'll be curious to see what you think about the ones that I did decide to keep!

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  11. I had a sort out a couple of months ago and managed to clear out 8 bags of clothes. I had been hanging onto stuff for the same reasons plus the 'just in case I lose a load of weight' scenario too. I also have a dreadful habit for buying clothes in the hope that I'll look so amazing that no one will notice my big belly. I'm finally tackling the belly issue and figure when I lose some weight I can treat myself to some new clothes not hang onto clothes that just mock me everything I look for something to wear that fits and feels right :)

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    1. Wow... 8 bags! That's impressive!

      You know, my weight has bounced around a LOT over the years, which is part of the reason I've ended up with so much stuff that I don't wear. But I'm sort of coming to the conclusion that with clothing (as with most things actually) you have to live for the present. Hanging onto stuff that doesn't fit you or suit you only makes you feel crappy... which makes it MUCH harder to take better care of yourself!

      Carpe Diem Baby!!!

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  12. I know I'm a bit late to join this discussion, but WOW I agree you look fantastic. If I were a dress kind of person I would have kept the last one
    even if I didn't have any where to go it would be a treat to wear it on an evening all alone. I used to have this one silky nightgown that I was talked into buying in between partners. I used to wear it on a hot night with a glass of wine. It would make me feel as if I was treating myself.

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    1. Ha! It's funny, but that one was the easiest for me to get rid of - I just felt SOOOOO self conscious wearing it. Even looking at the picture makes me squirm... my arms crossed in front of my body. Not sure why. I run around in shorts and a tank top all summer, which are at least as revealing, but something about that dress made me feel totally naked!

      Anyhow, thanks so much for the compliments. :-)

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