Tuesday, April 28, 2015

Y is for Years

At some point, when I was in the 5th grade, my best friend and I woke up to the idea that we might actually grow up one day. I'm not sure what triggered this event, but we spent an entire recess huddled in the corner of the playground performing calculations.


We worked out what year we'd get our driver's licenses, when we'd graduate from high school, what year we'd turn 21, how old we'd be in the year 2000, and a variety of other milestones.

The thing is, in my heart of hearts, I'm not sure I ever really believed it would happen.


I mean, when you're eleven years old, even one year seems like an inconceivably long time, so trying to fathom a life many decades into the future was darned near impossible.

Funny how that changes.


It just seems that time moves slower when you're a kid.

I used to think that this was purely a mathematical phenomenon. Like when you're young, xyz amount of time is a greater proportion of your entire life so far, so it seems longer to you than when you're older.

And while I do think there's some truth to that, recently I've started to believe that a bigger part of it is that children are simply much more grounded in the present moment than adults are.

I mean, have you ever tried to meditate? Seriously, if you want to make time slow down, that's the way to do it. This clip from the film Eat Pray Love portrays the sensation pretty accurately. (Don't worry, it's a short clip.)



I guess that sorta begs the question - why do we adults have an aversion to living in the moment? Is it simply a habit? Are we just so busy with our lives and our commitments, and our plans, yadda, yadda, yadda?

Probably - but I think there's another facet to it as well, one summed up quite nicely by a dear friend from my youth:


Somehow I can't help but think that our tendency to hurry through our lives, to agonize over the past, to worry about the future, and all of the many other things we do that keep us out of the present moment are, at least in part, our own attempts to protect ourselves from unpleasant stuff.

It's like the movie Click where Adam Sandler's character stumbles upon a "life remote" that lets him fast forward past all the stuff he really doesn't want to deal with... which is great, except that before he knows it he's fast forwarded past his entire life.


So I dunno. Maybe in a certain sense the passing of time is not a fixed constant, but rather a subjective experience that varies tremendously depending on our approach.


If that's true, then perhaps the key to living a long life has less to do with the number of years we're alive, and more to do with how present we are for those years.

What do you think? Is this all just philosophical psycho-babble, or do you think I'm on to something? I'd love to hear your thoughts on this whole topic.



16 comments :

  1. I am better at living in the present moment than I use to be. I don't spend much time worrying about the past or the future. My biggest distraction from mindfulness is busyness. So I guess I need to practice being mindful/present when I am busy.

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    1. Busyness is such a plague - and for me, the curious part is that there doesn't seem to be a direct correlation between busyness and the amount of things I need to get done. It's like more "important" things bubble to the surface as soon as one second gets freed up. I think I need to take a more critical look at what's really "important!"

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  2. I think I was different than most kids in that I thought 10 was the perfect age and I wanted to stay that age forever. Looking back, I think there was something to that. No teenage problems yet, but old enough to do a lot.

    While I think almost all of us need practice in living in the present, I think one reason that time seems to pass faster is that we're aware of so much more. Thus the saying, "The older you get, the faster time seems to go."

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    1. Interesting. Age ten was the age that I decided I would try to always remember how much a ten-year-old can do. Which is basically everything except reach the pedals to drive a car. And I saw things in black and white more then. That's also the age when I decided that you're not old until you're 80 and that as I approached 80, I would allow myself to change my mind. But now I still think that's about right (depending on how your health goes at least), which has saved me a lot of angst over turning 30, 40, and 50.

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    2. Interesting thoughts. I have to agree that age 10 was a pretty good age. And that's an excellent point that as an adult there is just sooo much more "mental traffic" to deal with.

      I still don't know what age we get "old" - I know 80 year olds who are much younger than some 40 year olds, if you know what I mean!

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    3. Cool! (For those 80 year olds. So sad for those 40 year olds!)

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  3. I agree that time goes slower when we are kids. Going through school felt like forever, but now the years fly by. I love the time kitty photo :)

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    1. Maybe simply having the freedom to live our lives the way we want to makes time move more quickly - the old "time flies when you're having fun" thing!

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  4. When I was a kid, I could depend on my parents to worry about the big stuff so I had more time to be present in the moment. Now my parents are part of the big stuff that I worry about. Some days (like today) this sucks up a lot of my time. I'd rather be present in the moment. It's more fun. Doesn't always work out like that, though.

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    1. I remember frequently worrying about the big stuff as a kid - but it was always a worry about how I would ever handle xyz thing when it happened waaaay off in the future. I do think there is something to say for the whole "ignorance is bliss" thing!

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  5. I think the best explanation I've read for the faster and faster passage of time is the roll of toilet paper explanation - the closer you get to the end, the faster the roll unrolls. But seriously - seems like, when we are in our 20's, so many of us step onto a treadmill - careers, marriage, parenthood, eldercare, or whatever, and these are things that take up all your attention. Before you know it, 40 years have passed. That's how I feel sometimes! (I'm in my 60's).

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    1. Ha! I love it - the old metaphysical toilet paper roll. Somehow this comment made me thing of Joni Mitchell's song Circle Game - the circle just keeps going faster and faster!

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  6. I think as our lives get same-y, the days seem to go by more quickly. (I used to measure my life by where I lived, but now that I've settled in one place, it's harder!)

    Today I totally forgot about a luncheon I wanted to go to. I guess for some reason I wasn't looking forward to it. I figured out the problem is that these days I'm still looking forward to and enjoying not having to do anything. Basically, the only things I pay attention to are Spanish class, monthly craft nights and less than monthly other parties I get invited to.

    Yet when I first got a real job, I made sure I scheduled something fun to do every day so I'd have something to look forward to every day (since my job was pretty boring).

    I'm not sure what has changed, but it may be related to the issues you're talking about. I think running around from commitment to commitment can make the time fly.

    I've been retired for almost three months now. I'm hoping I'll get back to looking forward to events again. Although, come to think about it, I was bored a lot as a kid, and I'm almost never bored now. So I like that!

    I'm not into meditating at all. I basically only use it when I want to fall asleep quickly at night. Usually I'd rather have all the thoughts racing through my head. That's fun to me!

    As for living in the moment, I do often string things together and try to do two things at once. But then I also often stop and notice that the weather is extra nice or a nice-smelling flower is blooming. I do try very hard to appreciate the great things like cuddling and delicious foods because you can't take everything for granted.

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    1. You know, when I think about the number of "activities" I used to participate in, I get downright dizzy! How on earth did I handle it all? These days, going to the grocery store makes for a pretty full day!

      Hmmm... so maybe time moves faster because we're moving slower? Didn't think of that angle!

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  7. Well, if anyone figures it out, let me know. I remember as a kid it seemed like forever until Christmas came. Now it's here practically every time I turn around. And summer vacation - it was agony to wait for but then it passed in a blip.

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    1. Ha! Well, my mother had the cure for the summer vacations passing in a blip - she shipped us off to day camp, which I hated, thus making summers an agonizingly long period of torture in my mind! :-)

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