Friday, April 17, 2015

O is for Oops!

"Oops" is one of my very favorite words.


"Oops" has always struck me as a little port in the storm of a crazy a society obsessed with perfection and "being right."

Face it, screwing up is not something that our society generally rewards. But somehow "oops" manages to transcend the rule-based morality of our Calvinist fore-bearers, taking human fallibility out of the realm of wrongdoing, and giving it a decidedly endearing twist.


The thing is, "being right" is just not everything that it's cracked up to be.

Now we've all heard the aphorism that our mistakes are more important than our successes because we can "learn from them" - blar-dee-blar-dee-blar-dee-blar....


OK, I don't mean to diminish the reality that getting smacked in the face by the universe serves as a great reminder not to do xyz thing again, but I think this approach really sells the oops short. It's like somehow mistakes are only valuable in the sense that they help us to avoid more of them in the future, and to me that's just totally missing the point.

The thing is, "mistakes" are a purely human construct to begin with. I mean, think about nature... does nature "make mistakes?" Even the idea is patently absurd... but somehow we humans have managed to divide the universe up into good vs. bad, right vs. wrong, success vs. failure, and on, and on, and on.

But it doesn't have to be that way. In fact, there are societies in which the pursuit of "perfection" is considered to be immoral. Take, for example the Persian rug makers who deliberately introduce "mistakes" into their designs as a tangible expression that only God is perfect.


And the whole idea that we humans know what's "right" and what is "a mistake" is really, on some level, incredible hubris.

Think of all of the scientific discoveries that were made "by mistake." If Alexander Fleming had done a better job keeping up with doing the dishes in his lab, penicillin might never have been discovered. And had Charles Goodyear not messed up and dropped some of the rubber mixture he was working with onto a hot stove, we might never have discovered how to vulcanize rubber.

It reminds me of a wonderful story that I first heard told by the character Marilyn Whirlwind in the TV show Northern Exposure. The story is actually an ancient one, sometimes credited to Buddhist philosophy, other times Taoist, but I like the Northern Exposure version:


There once was a warrior who had a fine stallion. Everybody said how lucky he was to have such a horse. 

“Maybe,” he said.  

One day the stallion ran off. The people said the warrior was unlucky.  
"Maybe,” he said. 
Next day, the stallion returned, leading a string of fine ponies. The people said it was very lucky.  
“Maybe,” the warrior said.  
Later, the warrior’s son was thrown from one of the ponies and broke his leg. The people said it was unlucky.  
“Maybe,” the warrior said.  
The next week, the chief led a war party against another tribe. Many young men were killed. But, because of his broken leg, the warrior’s son was left behind, and so was spared.


I guess I just think that karma works in mysterious ways, and holding onto everything with white knuckles in an attempt to sway every outcome to our favor, is just not necessarily the best approach.

So I'll leave you with a song on this topic by the fabulous singer-songwriter David Wilcox:





Embrace the OOPS, people!!!!



25 comments :

  1. I like the word Oops. It's like saying there's a problem with a smile. Unlike other words (d**n, s**t), that you are saying there's a problem with a scowl.

    I do believe nature and we make mistakes. It's just how you define them. As the song pointed out, it's all your perspective.

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    1. Yup, perspective is everything. I once read something in a cookbook that said you should never let on if your recipe didn't turn out as it was "supposed to." Just let your guests think that was how it was intended to be!

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  2. I agree with live and learn. Yes, Oops is my favorite 4-letter word. Just by saying it the situation becomes more human and manageable. And I really enjoyed the video - I was raised by curmudgeons, well, one anyway, and one worrier wart. I'm a bit of a fretter myself so having a word like Oops to use helps me unwind a little. If that makes any sense.

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    1. I like the way you said that: "Oops is my favorite 4-letter word."

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    2. I totally get it about unwinding. I am a recovering perfectionist, and oops really helps me to remember that everything is not the life and death struggle that I make it into!

      Totally love the idea of oops as a 4 letter word too!

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  3. I never heard about the deliberate mistakes in Persian rugs--I like that!

    I find that people who aren't hung up on perfection are more likeable. Who can live up to all that? Although if I ever find myself in need of a brain surgeon, I might change my tune ...

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    1. I'm not quite where I can deliberately make that kind of mistake, but I sometimes enjoy the excuse to leave such mistakes in.

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    2. Which begs the question ... if it's deliberate, is it truly a mistake?

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    3. Ha! I suppose perfectionism would be a desirable quality in a brain surgeon.

      And that's a very good point about deliberate mistakes - perhaps we should call them deliberate imperfections instead?

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  4. I love this post.

    And your video--I like the three minutes before the song even more than the song, which I also like. How does he make people laugh about stuff like that? Awesome.

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  5. The first picture of the cow on the fence reminded me of the time the bus stopped so the driver could get out and free a cow who was tangled up in the fence around the field.

    I have lots of oops moment when I am quilting, I do that Persian thing and sometimes on purpose.

    Marie

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    1. That's one cool bus driver!

      I'm always impressed by people who can quilt - I think it requires more patience than I posses. Suffice it to say, my forays into the quilting world have all had a very heavy dose of oops involved!

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  6. I’m sorry to say this, but your post wasn’t oops, but perfect! You’re absolutely right, ‘mistakes’ are important. Evolution depends on mistakes. That being said, I’m very bad at allowing myself to make mistakes. But I’ll try for now and send this reply without spellchecking!

    A2Z challenge. www.whenthecatisaway.com Participant number 1288

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    1. Awww... thanks for your kind words. And I hadn't thought of the evolution connection, but you're absolutely correct. Without genetic variation or "mistakes" we wouldn't even exist!

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  7. All I can say is I wouldn't want to hear a doctor operating on me say the word "oops" :)

    betty

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  8. Rx to relieve the burden of perfection? Three oops a day. This post was a great read, thanks very much.

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    1. Ha! "take 2 oops and call me in the morning!" :-)

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  9. Very true that many mistakes have led to good things.

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    1. Some of my best gardening and cooking discoveries have come from "mistakes."

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  10. I seem to have a lot of Type A tendencies, so I struggle with this one, but I think people are right in saying it's a matter of perspective. I agree with Betty that you certainly don't want to hear "oops" from your surgeon. Wasn't it Julia Child who said that about never letting on or apologizing if a recipe didn't turn out as you intended?

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    1. Yes, yes... it was Julia Child. I knew I'd heard that somewhere in relation to cooking!

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  11. For years now I've considered mistakes that delay me in getting where or what I want as a message that something bad would have happened otherwise. So I do try to embrace the "oops" in life, although I'm not always patient about it. And I LOVED Northern Exposure when it aired. It was the only show I watched. My husband said the only reason he knew not to worry that I'd want to move to Alaska was that I hate cold weather. :)

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    1. Ha! I practically have every episode of that show memorized. Somehow, I doubt that most small Alaskan towns are quite so... um... progressive in thought though.

      Anyhow, I like your idea that "mistakes" are really a sign. Hmmmm...

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