Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Balancing Act

Well guys, I've been struggling a bit the past few days trying to achieve some sort of balance in my life.


Since Sputty died, and Smoky was pronounced cured, my load has lightened a bit, and I've been trying to deal with a bunch of long-neglected issues that have been piling up.

I spent a whole day shredding documents, I've been doing umpteen zillion loads of laundry, packing away extra litter boxes, filing away all of the documents and stuff from my mother's funeral, cleaning, cleaning and more cleaning, and just generally trying to re-claim my life from the land of sickness, death and dying.



For some reason, it's been really important to me to try to spiff up my surroundings a bit. I'm not sure that I exactly understand this phenomenon, but it's like I need some sort of a visual reminder that the difficulties of the past year are in the past, and that life is moving on.




So I got all excited by this post about using old sheets as a couch slipcover over on ANNIENYGMA and thought that perhaps with some combination of what she did and the slipcover I came up with for my recliner, I could craft some sort of slipcovers for my couch and love seat - both of which are suffering from years of cat shredding, and are starting to get holes in the seat cushions.

I dove into the project with wild abandon... which is just never a good sign with me.


The first thing that happened was that I reached into the back of the linen closet for some old sheets, and pulled out a towel that had little brown spots on it from where Sputty had apparently peed on it. I stood there for half an hour sobbing and hugging the towel. Dammit! When is it gonna stop hurting so much?

At any rate, I concluded that I needed sheets that were a different size, so I headed down to the basement where I have a trunk full of old linens from beds-gone-by of various different sizes. Problem was, said trunk is stored in the cluttered closet under the stairs.



So I start pulling stuff out to get to the trunk, and the first thing I come across is a box labeled "Mow." Mow was the first cat of my adult life, who also went through a long, drawn out illness before finally dying in my arms 10 years ago.

I was so torn up about it that I packed all of her special things into a box that I haven't been able to bring myself to open since. So then I had to stand there sobbing and hugging the box for a while. Still couldn't bring myself to open it.

My Beautiful Little Mow-Mow Girl

But I was determined to press on with my little project, so I dove deeper into the dark recess beneath the stairs looking for the trunk, and failed to take into consideration that the ceiling of said storage space beneath the stairs gets ever lower the further back you go.

Long story short, I whacked my head on the underside of the steps so hard that I nearly knocked myself out.



At this point, I should have just stopped. But now I was getting mad. Why does everything have to be so f-ing hard? Wait... don't answer that.



So I yank the trunk out and start pulling out linens - only to discover that many of them were either leftover from my childhood, or were things that my mom and I bought when I was going away to college, or were given to me by my mother at various points over the years. More sobbing...

But... determined to finish this project and achieve some sort of mythical feel-better ideal called "closure" I pressed on.



Pretty soon I had the whole living room torn apart, and there were piles of linens everywhere, and it became clear that while the idea of using sheets to make a slipcover could work - I didn't have the right sizes, or colors that could possibly not look ridiculous in my living room, and I was gonna have to go buy some sheets to get anything close to the result I wanted.

I pondered the idea of spending hour after hour perusing the thrift stores, and it all just seemed like more than I could handle.



My head was throbbing, I felt dizzy and nauseous, I felt stupid for hitting my head, I was afraid I might have given myself an actual concussion, I didn't have any linens that were gonna work, I wasn't going to be able to throw together a slipcover in an hour or two, I didn't want to deal with shopping, I was mad as hell, and I just wanted to stop being surrounded by constant reminders of death and dying.


At that point I sorta lost it. I called CatMan in a heap of inconsolable tears. Poor guy. He picks up the phone and I'm on the other end of the line babbling incoherently about cats, and mothers, and sheets, and concussions.

He finally got me to calm down enough to tell him what had happened, walked me through an online concussion test, and then managed to convince me that I was in no condition to be taking on this project right now. Yeah... I probably should have been able to figure that one out on my own...



You know, sometimes I feel like my whole life is a giant tug of war between competing ideals, desires and realities.


I want to be frugal, and green, and not wasteful, and self-reliant, and sustainable, and a whole host of other noble things. But what often gets lost in the mix is that I also need to take care of myself.

I guess this is all my long-winded blathering way of telling you that I'm getting a beautiful new set of slipcovers for my birthday.


They were ridiculously cheap on eBay - and no... they're not organic cotton - not even close. And they were probably made by some sweatshop slave worker somewhere in India or China, and I'm sure they'll be packaged in plastic, and they're not even remotely green (well, actually they're a nice dark olive green color, but you know what I mean.)


And while I was at it, I also ordered a new portable futon mattress to use for when CatMan and I do movie night.



Long story here, but he has back problems and in order to be comfortable for the length of a movie needs to be horizontal - plus, we like to snuggle during the movies.

Anyhow, we have been using an old foam mattress taken from a sleeper couch that someone abandoned 25 years ago, and a feather bed topper that I found in the basement of my house when I moved in - both of which have got to be at least 50 years old by now, have little cushion left in them, leave incredible clouds of dust behind when I haul them out and set them up, and both of which got peed on numerous times during the past year of Sputty urinary problems. Suffice it to say... something needed to be done.



I had grandiose ideas of trying to clean them more thoroughly, or trying to salvage the feathers, or making something wholesome and organic from scratch, or solving the problem in some clever, green, frugal way, but the events of the past few days made me decide that it's just not worth it.

Here's the thing. I just am not capable of single-handedly saving planet - or saving the human race from itself, as might be the more accurate description.


And try as I might to achieve some level of eco-perfectionism, the reality is that there are trade-offs with all decisions.

And in the long run, I think that if I don't take my own mental health into consideration, I'm not really being a help to anyone.



I have to admit that I'm torn between feeling defeated, and feeling utterly relieved about these decisions. But truth be told, there's no shortage of projects in this house, and hopefully having these two big ones dealt with will allow me the time and energy to focus on other ones in a slightly more... umm... healthy manner.

Sooooo.. what do y'all think about all of this? Am I just being a selfish, materialistic, horrible, typical American consumer? How do you deal with the constant balancing act of these sorts of decisions? I'd really love to hear your thoughts.



41 comments :

  1. Selfish and horrible? Not at all. I completely agree, you have to take care of yourself first. And even if you had been able to solve both needs with items in your house, would that have saved the planet? Unofortunately, no. Even if you, me and every reader of this blog never made another purchase, would that save the planet either? I read something today that says we're too late for salvation of any form, which I don't agree with, but my point is...there's no shame in cutting yourself some slack sometimes, or hell, most of the time.

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    1. Ha! Somehow I find the cynical "it's too late for it to matter" argument oddly comforting.

      I once heard a quote from the Bible... something about how inflicting suffering upon oneself does absolutely nothing to alleviate the suffering of others. Actually... to be fair, what I heard was Stephen Colbert quoting the Bible... and that's about as close as an atheist-raised Buddhist like myself will probably ever get, but the point is well taken. Martyr points don't actually have any cash value on the open market... go figure!

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  2. I'm right there with you, Cat! I totally agree in theory, but I suck in taking care of myself in practice. Today I had a big packaged food purchase at Trader Joe's as I have been utterly exhausted between kids and working a bunch and dealing with selling our house and other life stuff. I allowed myself to buy packaged cookies and white cheddar popcorn. I totally feel guilty about it (and for not getting The Husband any beer), but it all did taste good...and I know the packaged are ALL MINE, for once (assuming the boys don't sneak in and gobble the contents up). Sometimes I think we should lend part of our consciences to others...it would lighten our load and help them.

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    1. Oooooo, conscience-sharing.... I LOVE it! I'm picturing something sorta like a cap and trade system for green guilt!

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  3. Given that many people would have bought a new sofa etc rather than new covers, i don't think you need to feel too guilty for buying something which prolongs the life of your furniture and means you don't have to buy new.
    I have high and mighty eco ambitions, but don't always live up to them, and feel the disappointment and 'terrible person' guilt.
    I do still get excited by the purchase/arrival of new things though, which makes up for the guilt!

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    1. Well, you've got a good point. Right after Sputty died I did actually consider the idea of getting new furniture, but decided that since Jasper and Princess are both couch clawers, it would be stupid to buy something that would just be destroyed in a year or two. So... I guess when you look at it through that lens, there is an argument to be made that there is something green about my new slipcovers after all - well, besides the color that is!

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  4. Cat you can look at it another way. You didn't toss out your furniture you are still being green because you are making do with what you already had in the best possible way to save it. Btw how is your head now?

    I spent my day sanding a discarded footboard, painting cheap picture frames to all match from a thrift shop....and then I ordered a new down and feather comforter for my bed as the quilt I have been using for the last 14 years needs many repairs. Nope my comforter isn't locally made and is coming from Ikea so lots of travel miles on it, but it has very little packaging 😊

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    1. Thanks Lois - You make a good point. Maybe I didn't do it in the absolute greenest way possible, but there were many worse decisions I could have made. Even with the futon. It's mostly cotton, though it does have a layer of foam inside. I concluded that the 100% cotton ones were so heavy that I wouldn't be able to easily move and store them. BUT I could have just gone with an entirely foam option... which would have been cheaper, but much less earth friendly.

      I hope you enjoy your down comforter. Given the winter you are having, I think it will get a lot of use!

      And my head is much better... still hurts a bit right on the spot where I whacked it, but the dizziness and nausea went away in a few hours, so it was probably more shock than concussion. Hopefully I can accomplish my next projects without any physical injury! :-)

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    2. Yes, the great thing about having such big goals is that when you fail, your achievements are still remarkable.

      Also, it sounds like if you close your eyes and just take a deep breath--you can probably notice some of the other relaxing improvements you have made.

      I'm sorry you had such a rough day. I'm glad you have CatMan. And that futon you showed really does look as easy to roll up and set aside as people always claim futons are, so that's great!

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    3. Oh... the deep breath, look how far I've come thing - I need to remember to do that more often. Thanks!

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    4. Actually I just meant that with all that cleaning, your place probably smells really nice right now!

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    5. Ha! Well, it certainly smells less like cat pee! :-)

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  5. I don't have any answers, but I'm in a similar place and it's comforting to know I'm not alone here. All my jeans have holes in the crotch. The easy option is to go out and buy new jeans, but if I go to a high street store they'll almost certainly be made in Bangladesh or some other place where workers are exploited, and if I buy second hand from a charity shop they'll be halfway to worn out already and probably won't fit very well. I feel I ought to mend them, but that's difficult and time consuming and I'm dealing with failure issues right now.

    I don't know. I'll probably end up buying new and hating myself for it (I did buy some tops recently that were very cheap and made in Bangladesh. Yes I do hate myself for it).

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    1. It's so nice to know that I'm not alone in these feelings. I think you should just let yourself get new jeans and not agonize over it. The thing is... our power in terms of effecting change (or is it affecting change?) well... whichever it is, our power here decidedly limited.

      I keep trying to look at this keeping in mind the law of Karma. I think most western cultures misunderstand karma because we superimpose the whole Judeo-Christian good vs. evil dichotomy on it. But Buddhism doesn't recognize an absolute good or evil - it's just that all actions have consequences. In this case you have to consider both the consequences for the workers in Bangladesh as well as the impact on your own mental health. Ignoring one for the sake of the other is not necessarily a good thing, and ultimately your primary responsibility is to yourself.

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    2. OK, trying to get a grip on myself, I did a bit of research into ethical practices in the UK clothing market. As luck would have it, the store that sells jeans I like (Next, if anyone's interested) was one of just two companies judged to be seriously trying to improve workers' rights (Gap was the other) in a campaigner's report. Now I can buy new jeans with a clear conscience. And there's a new(ish) Next in town... and they have an escalator, which is the first one in Aberystwyth, so it's very exciting!

      It's interesting to try to understand the idea of karma. We do have such a black and white view of good and evil in our culture, it's quite hard to think about things differently.

      "Effecting change"... this is one of the rare sentences in which either effect or affect would work. "Effect" (the verb - there is also a noun) roughly means "cause" and "affect" means "influence", so effecting change is making change happen and affecting change is altering that change. I know you're not really interested in this, but when I was marking student lab reports, the use of "affect" when it should have been "effect" (noun) was one of my bugbears. To confuse matters further, there is a noun "affect" which turns up almost exclusively in Psychology essays, meaning "emotion", though the related adjective "affecting" sometimes makes an appearance in Jane Austin novels.

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    3. Well, I'm very glad that your favorite jeans company is working on being more ethical, that certainly makes it an easier decision. The idea of an escalator being exciting is totally cracking me up!

      So I had another thought on the whole topic of ethical shopping. Perhaps this is just me trying to justify my decisions, or quantify something that isn't really quantifiable, but it seems to me that the damage caused by purchasing an ethically questionable product is really spread out across all of the people who purchase it. So while one person either deciding to purchase it or not still matters, it matters in like a fraction of a percentage point kind of a way. Meanwhile, the decisions we make impact our own lives in a 100 percentage points kind of a way.

      That doesn't mean we should just stop caring about it all and that our decisions don't matter, but it does mean that maybe we need to allow ourselves to assign differing weights to the differing sides of the equation, especially in cases where the more "ethical" decision has a big negative consequence for us. Maybe that's just a cop out... I can't decide.

      Anyhow, thanks for explaining the affect/effect thing. Can you come be my grammar coach? :-) Seriously, I have real trouble finding ways to trick myself into remembering this sort of thing. It helps if I pronounce them significantly differently, but when there's such a nuanced difference between the meaning of the two verbs... oy! Maybe I need to assign them to different categories in my brain - "affect" can go in the psychology bucket, meaning that it's about emotion and influence, and "effect" can go in the physics bucket meaning that it's about concrete results and definitive causation. Not gonna hold my breath on this one!

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    4. Ethical/green decisions can be such a minefield that I think you could easily wear yourself out trying to find the *perfect* item.

      Until I have my own sheep, shear them, then knit/weave clothes, I'm never going to have the perfect ethical garment. (Ok, I am not going to do this).

      We have had an up escalator in the M&S in my town (Bury St Edmunds) for years, but recently they built a Debenhams which not only has two up escalators, but two down ones as well!

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    5. Ha! The point is well taken about the sheep... I think that the idea that we're really making anything "from scratch" is sort of kidding ourselves. Have you seen the TED talk about the guy who tries to make a toaster completely "from scratch"? It's totally hilarious and makes an excellent point.

      http://www.ted.com/talks/thomas_thwaites_how_i_built_a_toaster_from_scratch.html

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  6. You're right. You have to take care of yourself before you can take care of anyone else or the planet. I'm glad you have Catman to help you see that.

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    1. CatMan is my rock... I really don't know what I'd do without him. I keep thinking of the speech that you hear when you get on an airplane. In case of emergency, put on your own oxygen mask first before trying to help others!

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  7. I'm so glad to see this post, I totally hear you! I'm dealing with quite severe long term health issues and I'm just trying to improve my life in any way I can. When I started decluttering my wardrobe for example, I was really looking forward to wearing "my favourites" every day, as I've read about other people doing . Thing is, I've been sort of under-shopping before, and I didn't really like most of my clothes. So ironically, part of my simple living journey involves shopping for new clothes. Do I absolutely need those? No. But I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired, and having some clothes that I feel comfortable and cute-ish in actually improves my quality of life, even for this casual non-fashionista gal. I'm also trying to eat more organic and local food, but it's not really readyily available where I live. And taking myself all over town to buy would worsen my health at this point. I wish it wasn't so, but it is. So I try to do what I can within the limits of my health and well-being. We deserve some compassion and slack too, just like everyone else on this earth. :) Greetings from your Norwegian fan Maria.

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    1. Hi Maria... it's so good to hear from you! You know... sometimes I think that we do much more harm than good when we cross the line between responsible living and self-flagellation... and not just in terms of the impact on our own lives. I mean, realistically, what one person does matters little... it's what "everyone" does that has the impact.

      So another way to look at it is that when those of us who want to live more responsibly turn it into an exercise in self-deprivation and suffering, we significantly decrease the likelihood that we're gonna be able to convince anyone else to join our cause. The truth is that if everyone on the planet lived 1% more responsibly, it would have and infinitely bigger impact than a handful of us killing ourselves in the pursuit of eco-perfectionism.

      Perhaps I should tattoo that on my forehead - though I think I'd need a bigger forehead! :-)

      Take care of yourself!
      Stor Klem,
      Cat

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    2. Tusen takk Cat. :)
      I think your point is really valid. Sometimes I can see that my boyfriend is being inspired to use more green solutions, buy more organic food etc. But when the green choice requires too much butt-busting (pardon my french) he just opts out and sometimes even gets annoyed with me if I want to put myself through it.

      I think we need to remind ourselves that even though we're in many ways trying to live quite differently than the mainstream culture, we're still sort of living within it. So alot of the actions we want to take are quite difficult to succeed with simply because most of society isn't set up to cater to those needs. Some of non-mainstream living is easier (like not killing ourselves climbing the corporate ladder or drowning in over stuffed McMansions) but some sure is harder (like buying local organic food or buying worker-friendly non-toxic slipcovers). I think we just can't do it all perfectly, unless we're living in an already well established eco-village or something.

      To me it sounds really healthy that you want to beautify your surroundings a bit. But things just take sooo much time. When I started decluttering I actually didn't have that much extra stuff and I was already living in a modest one bedroom apartment with my boyfriend. But two years or so later, I'm still at it. And regarding grieving I heard someone say that feelings are time travelers. I can relate for sure, and I think it's healthy to grieve. Some things we might never stop being sad about, its' just that the grief doesn't take up too much space. So there will be lots of room for good stuff eventually along with the happy and sad memories. :) Hope you're being gentle with yourself!

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    3. "when those of us who want to live more responsibly turn it into an exercise in self-deprivation and suffering, we significantly decrease the likelihood that we're gonna be able to convince anyone else to join our cause"

      That is brilliant, Cat!

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    4. It does indeed feel like ethical decision making often requires swimming against the current, and it can be exhausting.

      And I've been trying to "de-clutter" for nearly 20 years now, and it sorta feels like a never-ending project. Of course, my tendency to hang onto everything "just in case I might need it some day" doesn't help!

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  8. First off.....you are still in mourning for your Mom and your beloved kitty. This does take time to work through, some days will be good some bad and you have to go with that and not, I repeat NOT, push yourself or expect miracles from yourself. Sputnik will one day be a warm and happy memory, and you will smile when you think of him, how much time that takes, no one knows.
    It does help to get busy to keep your mind occupied but you still have to be aware that you are vulnerable at the moment

    Second...I live by the 80/20 rule, if I can keep faith with my eco principles 80% of the time I am probably doing more that most folk do 120% of the time.
    As other people have said, you could have done a lot worse...buying a new couch etc.Things will break and need replaced.
    We had to bet a new couch last year...but our old one lasted 28 years so I give myself 100% for that.

    Marie

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    1. Thanks Marie - you're totally right about the mourning. I keep thinking that I'm "done" but the truth is that it's sort of like an onion... you just keep peeling off layers and exposing more stuff underneath. It does get less painful with time though. I think part of my need to clean up the house and everything is that I just want to be able to remember Sputty in good times instead of having constant reminders of his illness.

      And the 80/20 rule... that's an excellent one! I should remind myself that the couch and love seat were purchased used at a rummage sale about 12 years ago - so someone else already thought they'd outlived their usefulness!

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  9. You tried -- like, really tried, to go with a green option. You definitely get a pass for buying new. It's all a matter of degrees, not one of either/or. Hang in there!

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    1. Thanks DBF. You know, I'm thinking that perhaps something good can come from my little linens meltdown after all. Some of them are in really good shape but since they're for bed sizes that I don't have they're never gonna get used. Perhaps I could donate them to the thrift store and they could find a new loving home. It would be a win all around.

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  10. I replaced my old sofa cover last year with a new one (I love the 2 piece style where one goes over the sofa and the other one goes over the cushions--I'm not constantly straightening it) and my thoughts were 1) it prolongs the life of my sofa--I also got one for an old chair 2) it gave me a mental lift to see my living room look immediately neater and more tied together and 3) I can throw it in the washer when it gets too kid- or kitty-fied. I think sometimes 10% of the people try to do 90% of the green living. There really is a point when it's reasonable to make a new purchase--stuff wears out--whaddya think archeologists study??? Old worn-out stuff, that's what! I just try to give them less of my artifacts to study than other people do. ;)

    Perhaps you have my disease, the I-think-I-can-accomplish-more-than-is-realistic-itis one. Cut yourself some slack. It will all work out.

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    1. Oh... being able to throw it in the washer when it gets kitty-fied will be HUGE! I hope they're gonna look OK. Both the sofa and love seat are on the large side, so it limited my choices considerably. I hope the measurements they gave were accurate. I'm actually pretty excited about making my home look a bit better. It's been a LONG time since I did much on that realm. Come to think of it, last time I did was right after Mow died. Hmmmm...

      I'm totally laughing about the future archaeologists thing. I wonder what they would conclude by looking at my home. I'm pretty sure they'd think this was a cat-worshiping culture!

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    2. Maybe you are an ancient Egyptian, what with your cat-worshiping and all?

      For me, a simple home spruce-up (which often means cleaning and de-cluttering) really brightens my outlook. I know, I know, it's very feng shui of me, but I do think that our environment affects our mental state, for better or worse. Maybe updating your surroundings after your cats die is your way of starting to move on? Anyway, if your picture above is the cover you picked out, I think you'll love it--it's very pretty and looks soft. Now, if only your cats were green so their fur would match the color ...

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    3. Ha! I was totally torn between going with a darker color that wouldn't show dirt, and going with a lighter color that would show less cat fur. In the end I let CatMan decide because he generally has a much better sense for colors - or at least, he's much more opinionated about it than I am!

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  11. I think the way to achieve the balancing act is to allow and acknowledge that somewhere in 'the middle' there exists a place of ease. So living from one extreme to the other ( 100% green frugal thrifty OR 100% unsustainable consumerist wasteful) could be problematic in achieving balance. I think that balance comes from relaxing ones own self expectations- we are much harder on ourselves than others it seems! I like to feed my worms, ride my bike and do all the good stuff but I sometimes concede that I'll have to do something less than green/frugal on that particular day.
    Sometimes stress ( teary days, sadness, loss) makes perfectionists out of us, almost like we kid ourselves into thinking that if we can just get 'this' taken care of right then it means the sadness and tears will be taken care of all nice and neat......but as you know sometimes its a bit messy and snotty and loud and sad....and finally cathartic.
    All the best x o

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    1. "...we kid ourselves into thinking that if we can just get 'this' taken care of right then it means the sadness and tears will be taken care of all nice and neat." Oh man... truer words were never spoken.

      And yes... as the Buddha said, the "Middle Way" is the path to enlightenment. Gotta remember that one more often!

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  12. Selfish and materialistic? NO, not even close...you are still grieving and you need to be kind to yourself while trying to find balance. Making slipcovers are the exact opposite of being easy on yourself. I think some nice little changes like the newly ordered covers will perk your mood up a bit. Good for you!!

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    1. Thanks Cheryl - You know, I think part of where I'm at is that I'm soooo used to being in crisis mode at this point, that I forget that every decision I make is not actually a life and death one. I really am looking forward to not having to see the dingy stained old couch and love seat mocking me day in and day out!

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  13. Sorry this is so late (I'm way behind on my blog reading :) ) but I thought I'd add to the guilt fest too - this week was crazy for me, so not only did I eat 2 frozen meals (organic, but still tons of packaging), but I caved and packed Hot Pockets for my hubby's lunches as well. Something had to give, and by golly, it was not going to be sleep!

    And emotions have a way of clouding our rational thoughts. Things spiral way out of proportion for me when I'm hungry or stressed so I can understand your frustration. But hopefully your new slipcovers will prolong the usefulness of your couch (making them super green!) and your head injury will be better soon :)

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    1. OK... first of all, stop apologizing for commenting "late". There's no such thing, and if we're trying to get out of guilt-land, beating ourselves up about staying on top of our blog reading would seem to be a tad bit... um... counter-productive!

      I congratulate you on your decision to put your own health and well-being first! A few Hot Pockets and frozen dinners are a small price to pay for sanity.

      I totally agree about emotions tending to cloud rationality. Some day I'm gonna get it through my thick little skull that trying to muscle my way through difficult times only makes it worse. Some day...

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  14. Oh my goodness, your post made me get a lump in my throat and chuckle a little, too. Thank you for sharing so transparently about your difficult day, and I felt such a rush of compassion reading your story because you tried so hard to be frugal and green. I can so relate to this, and I think we've all felt guilty because we can't always be environmentally perfect even though our convictions are so strong.

    Grief is such an unpredictable emotion, and your closet excavation led you to experience more emotions--when all you wanted was to find some danged fabric! Oh, I've been there! The bonk on the head was totally uncalled for, and I have filed the appropriate paperwork with the Life Balance Complaint Department.

    Your heart is in the right place, and I think you deserve those nice slipcovers and a soft place to watch movies more than anyone I know. xo

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    1. Awwww... thanks for such a sweet comment - and thanks for lodging that complaint for me!

      You know, the hilarious post-script to this little story is that the eBay seller that we bought the slipcovers from has turned out to be a total flake - I'm not entirely sure we'll actually get them. And I just got an email from Amazon saying that the futon has shipped, and will be arriving sometime in the next 3-4 WEEKS!

      I think there's some sort of a lesson in there somewhere. Like, buying one's way out of a problem is never really as easy as it seems... or something like that. Sigh.

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