Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Thanksgiving Every Day

My mother HATED to cook. Actually, that might be a bit of an understatement. At any rate, suffice it to say that I was raised on a steady diet of frozen dinners and fast food.


Looking back on it, I'm kind of horrified by the diet I ate as a child - seriously, I had committed to memory the entire menus of Burger King, Arby's, McDonald's, Wendy's, Taco Bell & Pizza Hut, not to mention a few locally owned sandwich shops.


The thing is, to me this was "normal." I can remember the first time I was at a friend's house for dinner when her mother boiled real potatoes and mashed them up to make mashed potatoes. I was completely floored - it had never occurred to me that mashed potatoes where actually made from potatoes!


Anyhow, one day when I was about 8 or 9, my mother, brother and I stopped off to visit my Grandmother (my dad's mother) who invited us to stay for dinner.

We graciously accepted her invitation, and then I remember my mother peeking in the freezer and whispering in my ear "there's no food in there!" Well... what she actually meant was that there were no frozen dinners in the freezer.


But my grandmother, having run several restaurants in her day, was a fabulous cook, and she proceeded to make us what I deemed to be an incredible feast!

In reality, she just roasted some beef, made gravy with side dishes of pasta, biscuits and fresh steamed vegetables - but to me, this meal ranked right up there with the best Thanksgiving dinner my mother had ever prepared.


It's funny how one situation like that can have a profound impact on a person's life - but that was the moment when I decided that I wanted to learn how to cook.

I began a never-ending campaign trying to pester my poor mother into making real food. Suffice it to say, it did not go well, and my mother did not enjoy being reminded of what a good cook her ex-husband's mother was!


But as I grew older, learning to cook became a passion for me - though I was at a bit of a disadvantage since I didn't have any basic skills to start out with. But I muddled through, and at some point in my early adulthood eating real food became the rule rather than the exception for me.

Now... have you ever had the experience of going through a big transformation, and sort of forgetting that the rest of the world didn't actually come along for the ride with you?


I guess part of me has always just assumed that everybody dove into the adventure of cooking once they were out on their own. But I think the truth is that sadly, most of the people in this country eat like my mother did... or perhaps worse, if that's even possible.


So... flash forward to this morning. I needed to run to the grocery store to pick up a few things, and I guess I sorta forgot that everybody and their brother would be out doing their Thanksgiving shopping this week. Holy Moly!

It wasn't just that the store was crowded, it was like there were droves of people who had wandered out of the darkness of the frozen food aisles and were standing there in a blind stupor trying to navigate the unknown territory of the baking, produce and dairy sections.


I saw husbands and wives standing there reading the instructions on various Thanksgiving staples, and calling out ingredients to each other. There were poor lost souls in the baking aisle hopelessly trying to figure out if they needed baking soda or baking powder, and an actual traffic jam around the Brussels Sprouts!

It suddenly occurred to me, that, much like my mother, this was the probably one of only 3 meals (Thanksgiving, Christmas & Easter) that they would attempt to cook "from scratch" during the entire year!
My first reaction (other than wanting to mow them all down with my shopping cart) was some combination of sadness, dismay and anger. I mean, is this really what our society has come to?


But once the harrowing experience was over and I was safely back home, a different emotion started to wash over me... I started to feel grateful.

I mean, here are all these people, who for whatever reason have decided that it's better to eat crap-for-food day in and day out.

Maybe they never had a Grandmother to show them what real cooking could taste like, maybe they're just too busy, or maybe their taste-buds are so corrupted by the chemical onslaught that they can't actually enjoy the subtle tastes of real food.


But somehow, I managed to escape from that world... I made my foray out of the frozen & canned food aisles years ago and have never looked back. In a very real sense, I feel like I get to eat Thanksgiving dinner each and every day, and for that, I am truly thankful!


So I'll leave you with a portrait of my grandmother... how very lucky I am to have had her in my life.



So how about you? Do you enjoy cooking from scratch? And if you do, who were your cooking inspirations?

44 comments :

  1. What an interesting post. How sad that you had to grow up with no home cooked meals. My mother was a fabulous cook and we ate well. Unfortunately, her joy of cooking didn't get passed onto me. We are Vegan now, but my cooking is simple things...but at least we eat fresh fruits and veggies.


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    1. Well, food doesn't have to be complicated to be both delicious and nutritious! Fresh fruits & veggies are some of the most amazing things on the planet in my opinion!

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  2. My comment disappeared into the interwebz.

    OT - the drug for Sputty is amitriptyline. My brain must be on a time delay.

    BTW - your grandmother was beautiful!

    My mother was a great cook but never taught me how to cook. I hate to cook. I have no counter space. My kitchen is always a mess and the cats feel the need to help me should I try to cook. Ooh, what's that? Is it for me? Can I have some? Smells funny, not like cat food.

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    1. Darned those interwebz! Thanks for the info on the drug, I'll ask the vet about it this afternoon.

      Cooking with cats can be a real challenge. Princess especially has a nose for chicken. I practically have to lock her out of the kitchen whenever I prepare it!

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  3. I grew up really wanting to learn how to bake. My big inspiration was my huge sweet tooth. I quickly learned that if I made cookies, I got to eat some of the dough! And because I could bake fairly well by my teens, everyone in the family just assumed I could also cook, and I was frequently called upon to cook dinners.

    Now, cooking from scratch is just the sensible thing for me to do. I avoid foods that cause reactions, we save money, and it's just simpler to shop for a pantry and fridge full of staples instead of numerous packages.

    I adored my grandmother, but she couldn't cook a decent thing. When I lived with her (while in university), I cooked dinner a fair amount of the nights, just so there would be something edible. She was not the type of grandma who would bake cookies for/with grandkids. In fact I was occasionally called upon to bake cookies for young cousins, so my grandmother would have some available when they visit. On the flip side, my grandmother was the most creative woman I've ever known. She let me paint with oil paints and play with clay in her living room. Everyday there was some sort of artistic adventure in her house!

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    1. Nothing like a love of certain foods to make one want to learn to prepare them! And avoiding reactions is a big motivator for me tool.

      Your grandmother sounds fabulous, even if she couldn't cook!

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  4. What a beautiful Grandmother!!! Knock-out, really! My mother cooked everything mostly from scratch. She DID NOT teach any of her children to cook. (I understand why, because the crappy old house we grew up in had a positively Mediaeval (sp?) kitchen. She didn't clean, either, and is now a world-class hoarder, but I digress....) I never had hamburger helper until I was in my early 20's, for example. I never had tv dinners, etc...Today, I try to find things to cook that are easy and fast, or crock-pot-able, for instance. I made a meatloaf this summer in a home-made solar oven, props to me!!
    I didn't allow my older children to help me in the kitchen, which I regret now. My daughter is an excellent baker, but has no confidence otherwise in the kitchen. She is a SAHM with 2 kiddies, and her husband usually cooks when he gets home from work- not an ideal situation. My older son lives on frozen burritos and frozen pizzas. So I try to remember to let my 4yo help every time I'm in the kitchen now. Kids are more apt to eat something that they've helped make- I had to read that on the internet- that's how strong the memories of my mom yelling at us to get out and leave her alone in the kitchen are- that I couldn't even think of something so simple myself!!!

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    1. My step-mother is a fabulous cook, but she too hates to have company in the kitchen while she's preparing food. She's from Germany, so I always assumed this was a European oddity, but perhaps it's just personality.

      Kudos to you and your solar oven. I built one about 5 years ago and I totally LOVE it, especially when it's brutally hot in the summer.

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  5. My grandparents were Amish, but broke away from the collective to start new lives when they were young. I learned from my grandmother. She was a awesome cook, and could make things from nothin, being married during the depression and the dust bowl days.
    I learned but then when I was young, (54 now), the only thing on my mind was a job in a big city and money. I wished now, I did not worry about the job, the office and the money, I wished I would of culivated my passions instead of working to please an ungrateful society.
    I now live very frugally, cook from scratch, can, dehydrate,garden and thankfully was blessed to have my grandmother's teaching. When I use all of her kitchen tools and pans, she is still with me in the kitchen with her hand on my shoulder.
    Your grandmother is the most beautiful woman I have ever seen, just stunning.
    Have a wonderful Holiday

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    1. Wow... Amish grandparents, I think that's totally cool! I have a bunch of Mennonites in my family history on my mother's side, but clearly none of their cooking skills got passed down to her!

      I have a lot of my Grandma's kitchen things too, and it always makes me happy to use them... like she's still here with me. I do think that living through the depression taught her a bunch of skills that she otherwise might not have picked up.

      And Grandma was indeed beautiful. She actually won a beauty contest once... I have the trophy!

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  6. My mom is a fantastic cook, but she seemed amazed that I did not pick it up by osmosis just because we lived in the same house. I'm not a big fan of cooking, I would rather being doing anything else. I am a big fan of eating, however, so I do cook some. Luckily the boyfriend chips in and cooks as well. I also scrounge several meals a week, which for me means canned soup or a salad and hummus.

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    1. Well, I think that I wouldn't like cooking if I had to do it every day. I cook in big batches when I feel like it and freeze it for later, because there's nothing that's less fun than hurrying through food preparations because you're hungry!

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    2. My household also does bulk cooking of staple foods such as spaghetti bolognaise, pasta sauces, curries etc. This way, if all else has failed, you still have your "microwave" dinners in the freezer! It is always our last resort to eat the frozen dinners we make.

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    3. Soups freeze well too. CatMan LOVES lasagna, but it's a chore to make it. So I went out and got a half dozen small casserole dishes and every few months I have "lasagna day" where I spend a few hours making up 6 small 2-person sized lasagnas and freeze them (uncooked.) Then, when he wants lasagna I just take one out of the freezer and pop it in the oven. We get to enjoy a nice dinner together and I don't have to spend hours beforehand in the kitchen!

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    4. Don't like things in the freezer. And I make baked ziti now instead of lasagna. (Actually, baked macaroni, usually, because it's cheaper.) Tastes just as good to me and is a lot quicker.

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    5. I actually do less freezing now than I did when I was still working. I now usually just make a big batch and eat the same thing for a week. But if I've made more than I can stomach, I'll still freeze things so I don't waste them. It also helps at harvest time when I've got more zucchini than I can possibly eat. My freezer is currently stuffed with about a dozen loaves of zucchini bread!

      But when I was working freezing things in meal-sized portions was a life saver because I'd just grab something from the freezer as I was running out the door, and it was generally defrosted by the time I was ready to eat, so I just had to warm it up in the microwave for a minute or two.

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  7. Even though my mother hated cooking, she still did it. My dad liked to cook, though, probably because the food my mother prepared wasn't very flavorful or spicy. My dad loved to make chili and soups and we never had the same one twice.

    I learned to cook from my mother at an early age and learned more in high school (home economics anyone?). My sister and I did a lot of the cooking when we got older because my mom was so sick of cooking every day. We liked trying new recipes.

    Today I go on cooking binges....I'll cook up huge batches of food and freeze meal-sized portions for when I don't feel like cooking.

    I used to collect all sorts of cookbooks but I finally got rid of most of them as I found there are plenty of tasty recipes in the basic cookbooks (Betty Crocker, Better Homes & Gardens).

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    1. I'm big on cooking binges too... it's so much more fun that way. And I wonder if they still have home economics classes in school. I LOVED mine, much to my parents' chagrin. Although, there was one incident when we made cherry turnovers... the instructor clearly told us NOT to put more than one tablespoon of filling into each one... but I couldn't believe that could possibly be enough, so I put 5 or 6. Then, of course, it all came oozing out of the crust during the baking process and welded to the cookie sheet. Lesson learned!

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  8. My mum is not a massive fan of cooking, but did things almost from scratch...sausage casserole but made with packet of 'just add water' spices etc...as we got older there were more oven chips and ready meals, but still usually a roast at the weekend (I think because mum went back to work and thus had less time).
    My mum's mum was a great maker of apple pies,,and I think most other things. My dad's mum had to look after the family aged about 14 when her mum died. She was not a great cook- probably because she had to cook on a Rayburn...she mad rock cakes like rocks, roast potatoes that had no potato in the centre, and sprouts boiled for so long they were white...

    I try and do as much as possible from scratch, including baking bread. It can sometimes be a bit of a chore, and I don't always enjoy cooking, but I think cooking from scratch is better for me, and cheaper, so I usually make the effort.
    Except for tonight, when I ate oven chips :D

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    1. I'm chuckling at your comments about your dad's mum - reminds me of my mother's biscuits which were black on the outside and raw on the inside!

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  9. My mother was a good cook and made sure that we learned all of the basic cooking skills. However, I'm not that interested in cooking much as an adult. I think that is because when my mother went to work full-time, my sister and I were responsible for all of the meals. We had to have supper ready every day when my father came home from work. We also spent most of our summers canning and freezing from our huge garden. The food was good, but I sort of feel like, "Been there, done that."

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    1. I guess that makes sense. I think I might be a bit unique in that I viewed cooking as a supreme form of rebellion!

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    2. There are many ways of rebelling. When I was a teenager I rebelled against my dad's atheism and went to church (but I grew out of it).

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    3. Ha! I did the same thing, only it was when I was about 10 years old. I started going to the local Baptist church with my friend's family - of all the churches to choose... it was a doosey! Anyhow, my friend moved away, but the church had a school bus that they would use to go collect wayward children like me, so I kept going by myself for a while.

      It didn't last long though... I think it was the part about all the little Hindu children rotting in hell that turned me off.

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  10. My mother cooked all our meals from scratch, same with my neighbours, aunts, grandmother.. everyone. Going out for a meal was a BIG DEAL in my house. Mainly going out meant we were allowed to go to a local fish and chip shop, pick a grilled fish piece, a side salad, $1 scoop of chips and if we were VERY good, we got to have potato cakes and dim sims! "dimmies" as they are known here down under. :)

    Nowadays I cook everything from scratch and only eat out when we go to a nice restaurant.

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    1. My food allergies certainly gave me a nudge in terms of cooking from scratch. At this point I only eat out a few times per year and it's more of an ordeal than a treat, since it's a challenge to find something on the menu that won't make me swell up like a sweet potato! :-)

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  11. What a lovely life story eco- thanks for telling............my mum (who I have learnt to love) was an awful cook and she loved convenience foods. However lack of money and being born in a small Welsh town in the 60's saved us from the type of food you mentioned. It was more fried everything, usually chips and egg. My grandmother was a great home cooking woman who ws a positive role model but it didnt really rub off until it was too late and she had gone. Ny partner taught me about how the ritual of cooking is emotionally soothing, a pass time good for building realtionships and healthy. However the biggest push to cooking if Im honest goes back to saving money to reach my goal of wanting to have financial freedom and also be more self sufficient. So my passion for cooking and preserving food is something that has come late in life in the last 2 years (Im 48 now)

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    1. The financial part is a big motivator for me too. I'm always amazed that I can eat better food cheaper by cooking myself - it was like a big "outsmart the system" discovery for me!

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  12. My mother was a great cook, as was her mother, as was her mother (by all accounts) and probably her mother as well. There really wasn't much probability that I and my sister wouldn't also be good cooks.

    That said, it's amazing how many of my cooking skills I learnt from my mother, considering she died when I was thirteen. I don't remember her teaching me, specifically, but I used to hang out in the kitchen after school and chat to her (and probably get in the way) while she was cooking dinner. For me, cooking is a link with my mother that I value greatly. That's not to say it's never a chore, but when I'm in the right mood I really enjoy it. Thinking about it, it's the planning and the state of my kitchen that tend to get me down. If I know what I'm cooking, have ingredients and equipment ready, and have allowed enough time, then I'm usually happy with the actual cooking part.

    My husband, on the other hand, comes from a family of poor cooks. He was amazed the first time he saw me cook roast potatoes, made from actual potatoes!

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    1. Yeah, I had a roommate who didn't know you could pop popcorn in a pan. She had only seen Jiffy pop (equivalent to the modern microwave popcorn bags). And when you look at things like raw scrambled eggs and cake batter, it can be very difficult to accept that these disgusting-looking materials are about to become delicious. People who cook always say it's easy, but if you know nothing about cooking, there is a lot to learn.

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    2. Oh Rachel, I'm so sorry that you lost your mother at such a young age. What a beautiful gift she left you.

      I totally agree about the extraneous stuff getting in the way like the state of the kitchen. I'm really, REALLY trying to keep the disaster to a minimum in there so that I don't have to clean up the kitchen before I can cook!

      Debbie - I remember the first time I was at a friend's house and they made popcorn on the stovetop in a big pan. I thought it was the most amazing thing I'd ever witnessed. I promptly came home and wanted to try it out myself. That set off a HUGE fight with my mother who was soon standing there screaming at me "Why is nothing I do ever good enough for you?!?" I should have replied "Maybe it's because you're always screaming at me..." Alas, my wit was not fully developed at age 11! :-)

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    3. It really is fun to learn that you have the power to do something you never would have expected.

      But bummer about your mom getting all insulted. Everything she did was good enough for you, but that doesn't mean no one else in the world has additional cool ideas--nobody can do (or even know) all the cool ideas. That's one thing I miss about not having new roommates all the time: no more influx of cool new ideas.

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  13. My mom did cook, but I was a really picky eater. And I still am. I wish I were one of those people who tasted real fresh vegetables and thought they were good, but no. I prefer donuts.

    That said, I do cook. I wouldn't say I like to cook, but I do like to eat food that I have cooked (once I get a recipe perfected, anyway). For example, I use only whole wheat pastry flour (still tastes like white flour to me, but has fiber in it). And for another example, my desserts seem yummier to me than most of what is served in restaurants and bakeries. Also, if I'm doing the cooking, I can grate up yucky vegetables and put them in the chili or spaghetti to make them healthier.

    My mom didn't let us help with the cooking, but we were allowed to watch, so I had quite a few clues. Plus she did let me in the kitchen to work on a cooking badge in Girl Scouts AND I did take a home economics class (in cooking, sewing, and child care). However, I learned most of my cooking from camping trips with the Girl Scouts. So my odd perspective is that I feel that a lot of perfectly ordinary things are luxury cooking items (a cheese grater instead of a knife, a can opener instead of a knife--don't ask, knives that are sharper on the sharp side than the dull side, egg beaters instead of a fork, and stainless steel pans instead of aluminum). So I still don't have a lot of the things I am supposed to want like a food processor and extremely expensive heavy pans (my cooking mostly involves stirring, so uneven heating is no big deal).

    I like to cook things that are quick in big batches and then re-heat them all week. I do not like re-heating things that are frozen--takes too long!

    My mom mostly cooked from scratch because we were poor. As she's gotten more money, she does more convenience cooking. Last time I was home, she used pre-made meatballs, for example, which she recommended. I said I'm feeling too poor to use those (trying to retire ASAP)--I go the other direction, making my own chocolate syrup and pumpkin butter.

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    1. CatMan isn't a big fan of veggies either. His theory is that he is a "super taster." Seriously, there's this theory that different people have different numbers of taste buds, and the people with more taste buds perceive flavors more strongly than folks with fewer. Anyhow, we did this little test where you actually count the number of taste buds on a small circle of your tongue, and it turns out I'm in the "non-taster" category and he's in the "super-taster."

      This may explain why I adore foods with strong flavors and think that many of the things he likes taste like cardboard. He's always claiming that green vegetables taste bitter to him, and I haven't a clue what he's saying because spinach, chard and the like all taste sweet to me.

      Anyhow, I've gotten good at "hiding" the vegetables inside things like lasagna so he doesn't notice them, and finding ways to prepare veggies that he actually does like (roasting them with garlic and Parmesan cheese is a big hit.)

      I know you said not to ask, but I'm dying to know how one opens a can with a knife!

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    2. Yep, I've heard the super-taster thing, too. I don't feel super though--I feel like a spoiled six year old! [I actually think spinach and arugula taste okay (raw), though there's a curly green I don't like. Raw celery, however: ugh. Sounds juicy and refreshing, tastes extremely bitter like earwax. Yet most people say it has almost no flavor.]

      My guy also likes super strong flavors--I'm not the only one who has described his cooking as "overwhelming." So we mostly cook separately. He does like some of my cooking, though he often feels he has to jazz it up a bit (with hot sauce, fish sauce, red wine, extra big hunks of meat, ...) We do agree on the strong flavor known as dark chocolate (though he'd still rather have it mixed with candied ginger or coffee beans or hot peppers).

      Hmm, garlic and parmesan do sound pretty good!

      FYI, if CatMan doesn't like green bell peppers, he might like red bell peppers (not as bitter) or yellow bell peppers (even less bitter)--they are more expensive but better for you in some ways. Also, asparagus soaked in oil and spices and then grilled is pretty good. Also, mushrooms cooked in just butter (especially the tasteless white button mushrooms) are good (well, when other people cook them like that--I haven't tried it yet).

      You should never open a can with a knife. It is extremely bad for the knife. And probably isn't too safe. But I did it once--take a big knife and set the point on top of the can at an outer edge of the lid with the knife standing straight up on end. Then pound down with your fist on the knife until the knife pokes through the lid. Then scootch the knife over and repeat. For something liquidy, you could just make two cuts at an angle to each other, bend back the metal (assuming you have pliers? but no can opener?), and pour out the contents. But I had something chunky and had to go at least halfway around the can.

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    3. Ha! You called it perfectly! Asparagus, red peppers and mushrooms are the three veggies that he actually likes!

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  14. My mother is an amazing cook, but very lazy. My maternal grandmother is an amazing cook and loves to cook everyday. So naturally I ate very well when at my grandparents home.

    I never realized how lucky I was to grow up eating outstanding and delicious homecooked meals every single day. It's only after marrying my husband and witnessing his family meals and yeach! I can't stand my inlaws to begin with and the food issue makes them even less enjoyable to be around.

    As for my husband and not liking his veggies - he loves Korean food. So I pickle every veggie I want him to eat and called it marinate korean whatever (beets, cabbage) and that thing disappears faster than I can serve it.

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    1. Ha! Now there's a plan for getting him to eat his veggies. I fear pickled foods frighten me... the whole idea of kimchi makes my stomach turn!

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  15. Wow your grandmother is stunning, absolutely gorgeous. My grandmother cooked and baked, but she liked to over salt things and she cooked meat until it was dead I used to say. She was afraid of getting anything pink on her plate. My boyfriends taught me how to really cook. As for my mother, when I did live with her for a few years all we had were convenience foods. Canned ravioli, boxes of mac and cheese and more tv dinners than I ever want to remember. I refused to buy any of those things when my boys were little, cooking from scratch. I even taught myself how to make my own bread, which I always thought would be really hard. It's not.

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    1. Grandma actually won a beauty contest back in 1928 - I've still got the silver trophy!

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  16. Oh, I love it! My grandmother was a Pillsbury bake off finalist and I inherited her love of cooking. It always floors me when I have my friends over to show them how to cook and they don't even know how to hold a chef's knife. There's only one good thing about that--their kitchens contain many fewer gadgets than mine!

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    1. A while back Huffington Post did a week long "challenge" where they got people to sign up for the oh, so difficult task of not eating out for an entire week. I was totally floored! First of all, I sort of couldn't believe that such a large percentage of the population is well-off enough to be able to afford to eat out so often, but secondly, I couldn't imagine this actually being a challenge for anyone! Guess I really do live out on the crazy fringes of society! :-)

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  17. OK, I've been moving from a regular American diet to gluten free and now to a modified Paleo and so I really enjoyed this post. Amused me a great deal; I've been owly-eyed in the local coop more than once while making this journey.

    Just found you today! So...must go read further back into your days. Yeah!

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    1. Glad you enjoyed my food revelations. You know, I'm often amused by the "diet wars" that seem so prevalent these days... vegan, vegetarian, flexitarian, paleo, gluten free, raw foods, low fat, high protein, etc etc etc. And I've read numerous accounts of people who switch to one of these diets and find it to be miraculous!

      The funny thing is that I've read just as many accounts of people claiming that meat is horrible for you as people claiming that grains are the scourge of the planet. It's like people eating practically opposite diets report almost identical results!

      My theory on all this is that ANY of these approaches is vastly superior to the typical American diet which consists mostly of sugar, refined carbohydrates, and partially hydrogenated soybean oil!

      Anyhow, congratulations on starting your culinary journey, and thanks for visiting!

      :-)
      Cat

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