I won't drag you through every sordid detail, but suffice it to say that theirs is not a happy relationship. In a nutshell, he has a drug and alcohol problem, and she's a harping, nagging pain in the ass who is always, I mean ALWAYS in the middle of one crisis or another.
And to make matters worse, she wants to be my best friend. But what she really wants is to bitch about him, and about men in general. Of course, she always wants to do this over "drinks." And I'm sure that I haven't handled it as well as I could have, because I've agreed to get together with her/them a few times. But we're talking like once a summer, it's not like we're close friends or anything.
Anyhow, recently the situation has escalated. There have been a few "domestic disputes" where the cops have been called, and she's currently evicted him and there has been talk of restraining orders (although I believe she's actually the one who hit him...)
So with all that as the backdrop, she's now decided that she wants to come over and "chat" all the time. Now - chatting over the fence... and "getting together" now and then are one thing, but suddenly she keeps showing up at my patio door unannounced.
I dunno... perhaps I'm just anti-social or misanthropic, but somehow, the fact that she feels like it's OK to just traipse through my backyard uninvited... and to bring her dog with her (who likes to dig up my garden BTW)... really isn't OK with me. It's all just making me feel like my personal space is being invaded.
And she also has a habit of showing up when I'm on the phone with CatMan. I suppose I can't expect people to understand this, but when you live under a different roof from the one you love, telephone time is pretty much sacrosanct.
So today, she showed up AGAIN while I was on the phone with CatMan and I couldn't just not answer the door, because she was looking in the patio door and I was right there (it's a small house.) So I told her that I couldn't talk right now and explained that I talk to my boyfriend every day at that time and sent her away.
And now I feel terrible. I suppose that instead of writing this, I should go over and talk to her, but I really, REALLY just DON'T. WANT. TO.
I mean, I'm sure she needs to talk and everything, and I don't want to be unsympathetic, but I really don't want to get in the middle of whatever craziness is going on between the two of them. I mean, I know he's an alcoholic and everything, but if I had to live with someone like her, I'm sure it would drive me to drink too!
Is this bad? I mean, people are supposed to want to have friends and hang out with their neighbors... but I actually really like having my life be MINE.
I mean, there are reasons that I live alone, and I suppose this is one of them. I just want to do what I want to do, when I want to do it - without having to worry about being "on call" for whoever wants something from me. Does that make me selfish?
OK... I'll stop whining now. But I'd really appreciate any thoughts that y'all might have. Am I being a heartless scum sucker? Has anybody else out there ever dealt with a similar situation? help....